


Violence, Beauty, and Grace

by DhampirsDrinkEspresso



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Also Times Two, And just as Bloody, Behavioral Modification, Ben|Kylo is 33, Blade Violence, Blood, Blood and Violence, Brain Surgery, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Double Age Difference Actually, Electrokinesis, Empathy, F/M, Fist Fights, Flashbacks, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jayne is 39, M/M, Mind Reading, Multi, Needles, Past Torture, Precognition, Psychic Abilities, Reavers (Firefly), Reavers are Cannibals, Rey is 24, Reylo - Freeform, River is 20, Size Difference, Sparring, Stream of Consciousness, Surgery, Swordplay, Telekinesis, The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword, Threats of Violence, Watch the R Tam Sessions, if you can find it, original child character - Freeform, pyrokinesis, rayne
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23843740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DhampirsDrinkEspresso/pseuds/DhampirsDrinkEspresso
Summary: A Sequel Trilogy/Firefly CrossoverThey were the best three subjects to come out of the program: Kylo Ren, a towering mass of barely contained violence; Kira Ren, the feral desert beauty who had managed to survive Reavers as a lone child; Kendra Ren, a creature of extraordinary grace and the program's greatest success.Then Kendra was stolen away, presumed dead after the debacle with the Miranda broadwave and yet somehow very much alive. Now Kira is gone as well, taken by the same group who "rescued" Kendra. Kylo Ren is dispatched to bring them both home, and he cannot afford to fail. Unfortunately for his mission, the crew of Firefly class mid-bulk transportSerenityaim to misbehave...and they areverygood at it.
Relationships: Jayne Cobb/River Tam, Kaylee Frye/Simon Tam, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 18





	1. The Little Mouse

**Author's Note:**

> Bolded text is quoted or paraphrased from Firefly, Serenity, or The R. Tam Sessions
> 
> Here it is, my (first) Firefly/Star Wars crossover. The rating may change, and tags will be updated as appropriate.
> 
> CH 1 RE-UPLOADED 5-6-2020. I am SO sorry this chapter was such a hot mess. I cleaned up a few things, no major changes (mainly fixing tenses at the end). Flashback scenes are still in present tense and are meant to be a sort of stream of consciousness/word association thing, but the main narrative was meant to be all past tense. I can't believe I missed that entire end section in present tense (and missing a couple sentences).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of Firefly class transport _Serenity_ makes an unexpected stop for unplanned passengers. 
> 
> _River smiles at her, and Kira/Rey smiles back, a baring of teeth, and Kylo watches as they giggle and spin, blades crashing together until one of them is the first to draw blood._   
>  _Violence and blood and the dance of a blade._   
> 

In typical Malcolm Reynolds fashion, the job went south(again), he got shot (again), and his crew had to get creative (again). But in the end, the job got done, they got paid, and Serenity was still flying.

All in all, a good day.

“ **Day is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. Not applicable**.”

Mal looked up to find the girl leaning around the med bay door.

“You’ve said that before. Still, it ain’t about the literal meaning. ‘Sides, ya ain’t to be readin’ me less’n we’re on a job what looks to go south. Job’s done. No readin’ the captain.”

River shrugged. “Can’t help it. Captain is loud.”

Mal huffed and grinned at the young woman. “Man can be as loud as he wants inside his own head. Now, ‘fore them smoothers your brother gave me kick in, you need something?”

His tiny genius psychic assassin looked down. “Miscalculated. My fault. Something interfered.”

It was a few years now, since Doc and the girl had boarded his ship. Mal had learned to translate River-speak passably well (not as well as his mercenary, but that was a thought best left alone). “Still kickin’ ain’t I? Like as I see it, you done saved me again.”

“Jayne too.”

Mal grimaced. “Okay, fine, you and Jayne saved me. But what’s that about something interfering?” He yawned, blinking a few times as his eyes blurred, smacking his lips as he began to drift thanks to the smoothers.

“Someone’s coming. They need our help.” She knew he heard her whispered words, but whether he would remember when he woke she couldn't predict.

After watching the captain sleep a few more moments, assuring herself that he was truly out for a while, she headed back to the cockpit. She had to change course. He wasn’t going to like it.

None of them were.

Fingers flying across switches and panels, River plotted a new course for the outer rim.

She had a mission.

_**Can't tell. I'll have to write it down**._

_Write it down. Her first mission. The one that will move her to the next level of the program._

_Home, she just wants to go home. Simon plays hide and seek. Always the seeker._

_“Come dance with us, little mouse.” His hand swallows hers._

_Kylo. He’s older. The first almost-success. The doctors say he’s violent, but he smiles and he’s gentle when he leads her over to the other girl, to the one they call Kira. The one the Reavers left in the desert._

_Feral beauty._

_The doctor, River’s first mission, he calls Kira a Feral Beauty. It’s all there in his head, how he touched her once, when she was in the chair, when her name was still Rey, and she got loose and bit him. River sees it, sees the blood and hears the scream and she takes the pen._

_River smiles at her, and Kira/Rey smiles back, a baring of teeth, and Kylo watches as they giggle and spin, blades crashing together until one of them is the first to draw blood._

_Violence and blood and the dance of a blade. But she doesn’t need a blade because the pen is mightier than the sword._

_The pen._

_Gasping, choking sounds. Blood, thick and sticky as it cools._

**_“I can see you.”_ **

_She takes his hand and he dances with her, and with Kira. Sometimes he doesn’t even have a weapon, just spins them around to make them smile until the doctors make them stop, give them blades and staffs and bludgeoning tools and they begin the dance anew._

_They don’t put Kylo in the chair anymore. Too many guards lost. Too much damage. But they still work while he sleeps._

**_“They’re hurting us. Get me OUT.”_ **

_She cries for Simon at night, when the pain is too much, and she can’t stop FEELING. They’ve locked her in her room but they forgot to seal the vents._

_Puzzles and codes and the game is afoot but it isn’t her turn._

_Kylo puts her back to bed before the guards and doctors can find her. “Sleep, Kendra.”_

**_“The memory. It isn’t mine. I shouldn’t have to carry it.”_ **

_A hand on her head, closed eyes, and she feels a tug, dragging her to the darkness, the one with no dreams._

_“River.” Eyes open, glaring. Stubborn. “Always River.”_

_“Let the past die, little mouse. The River has run its course. You’re Kendra Ren now. Sleep.”_

_But the River still flows; doesn’t want to be Kendra and she overflows the banks until she’s River again. Kendra doesn’t have a Simon._

_10…9…8…_

_The River has a Simon and home will come to her soon._

_7…6...5…_

_Kylo tries to be a good big brother, directs the current, fords the shallows._

_4…3…2…_

_Kylo isn’t a Simon, never can be. The River will miss him when she changes course._

_1…_

_READY OR NOT, HERE I COME_

_Simon says it’s time to go._

It was Jayne who _found_ her, always Jayne.

Simon rescued her.

She saved herself, saved _them._

Jayne brought her back. He always brought her back.

Jayne watched over her as she slept, studied her when she woke and stretched, cramped and sore in the co-pilot’s chair, offering him a sleepy smile.

“Dreamin’ ‘bout the Academy again?”

He knew, her Jayne, he always knew. She thought it was because she talked in her sleep but he just… _knew._

Knew _her._

_Jayne knows every bend of his River._

River shook her head, fighting the fuzziness of half-forgotten dreams. It always took her a few minutes, rebuilding, reorganizing, filing it all away, and Jayne just…waited. “Gonna tell me where we’re goin’ now? Cuz even I know we ain’t headed where we was meant to. Cap’n’s powerful angry ‘bout it, too.”

“Almost there.” River turned to the console, flipping switches and entering coordinates, preparing to enter atmo on the tiny desert rock. “You can unlock the door now.” She didn’t turn to look, knowing he would.

“RIVER! You better be ready to—”

Mal was cut off as Serenity was jarred by the change in pressure on entering atmo (and possibly the fact that River flicked her wrist just a bit). “Strap in,” she said, ignoring the sputtering captain.

The sand…all the sand was going to make this difficult. Brow wrinkled, River set the ship down as smoothly as she could as the wind whipped across the surface, throwing grains against the hull with a hiss. She was out of her seat, out of the bridge, before Mal even managed to stand, and the entirety of the remaining crew followed as she ran full on for the cargo bay, grabbing her axe and sword, the ones she’d taken from the first Reavers she killed, from the weapons cabinet and slamming the button to open the bay doors as she ran.

Jayne followed—he always followed—a gun in each hand, trusting that if River thought they needed weapons they _would_.

Mal came out the bay doors in time to see River throw her sword to someone else, a woman about her height with her hair tied up in three buns as the two of them turned to face off against a small party of Reavers.

What in the gorram hell were Reavers doing out this far?

He couldn’t hear anything they said, but he saw River gesture at Jayne, who in turn grabbed the arm of a younger, dark skinned man and ran, half dragging him back to Serenity. A ship came into view, red paint splashed over it.

The Reavers had reinforcements.

Mal turned, running for the bridge, yelling orders on the way.

“KAYLEE! GET THOSE ENGINES BACK ON, NOW! WE GOT REAVERS!”

Jayne shoved the other man into the bay, pointing at the weapons cabinet River had left hanging open. “If you can use a gun, now’s the time!” The other man nodded once and scrambled over, chest heaving as he grabbed the first weapon he saw, flicking off the safety and scooping up the clip in his other hand.

Jayne was already attempting to pick off the Reavers he could, a frustrated growl escaping him every time River or the other woman got in the way. He needn’t have worried. There were only three left as River swung the axe—make that two—and stood back to back with the other woman, finishing off the raiding party as the Reaver ship descended, bay doors open and a much larger contingent of Reavers ready to jump out.

Jayne saw River freeze and turn to the east, screaming and grabbing at the other woman’s arm before gesturing to Serenity. Both women ran, low to the ground, as a sleek, black, long-range shuttle barreled into view, blowing the Reaver ship out of the sky before changing course, headed straight for Serenity.

Serenity shook and rumbled as the engines fought for lift. They were almost there.

“REY!” The man Jayne had dragged onto the boat at River’s insistence was leaning out the bay doors as Serenity began to rise, hand held out to the woman with her hair up in buns. The bloody sword flew in between the two men as she tossed it and pushed herself off her feet, catching his hand and falling into the bay.

Seconds later River’s axe landed beside the sword and she jumped, barely catching the edge of the ramp as the ship rose. Jayne pulled her in and turned to close the bay doors, needing to seal the airlock before they broke atmo. River grabbed his arm. “Wait.” She took the larger of his guns, whispering to herself before closing her eyes and firing at the shuttle. Her aim was true and it dipped as one of the engines imploded. “Now!” Jayne slammed his hand on the button as River dropped to the floor, panting.

“You have failed me, Kylo Ren. _Again._ ”

Kylo stood silently, staring up at the man seated behind the long table on the dais, jaw tight and eyes burning.

“WELL? Explain yourself. _Where is Kira Ren_?”

Kylo glared back at the man, eye twitching as Dr. Snoke’s long, blue-gloved fingers stroked over the device in his hand. Maybe this time he would use the highest setting, end it all.

But he never pressed the button, just stared down at Kylo, waiting. Kylo’s eyes darted left, then back, jaw ticking now from being clenched so tight. “She escaped,” he hissed out, anger at himself, at Snoke, at fucking _Kira_ making him tremble as he tried to suppress his rage, tried to maintain some semblance of control with his Balance gone. Across the room, a glass carafe of coffee exploded, shards flying. “ _Kendra Ren helped her.”_

And at last, Dr. Snoke stilled, eyes glittering. “So, she _is_ alive.” He leaned forward, elbows on the table and fingertips pressed together in front of his chin. “You may still be of use to me, Kylo Ren.”

Kylo dropped to his knees, teeth grinding and sweat running from his temples in his effort to stay upright, to simply _not_ _scream_. He hadn’t even seen Snoke go for the button.

“You will bring them to me, Kylo Ren. _Both_ of them.”

He turned the dial higher and this time Kylo did scream, blood dripping from his ears, nose, and eyes.

Snoke turned off the device before Kylo’s brain finished boiling in his skull.

“Do not fail me again.”

Kylo’s eyes fell shut, and his world was blessed, dark silence.

_They call her little mouse, the older students. He watches her, head down as she darts between buildings, ducking through lesser used doors. She goes to class early, takes the long way to avoid the bullies, navigating the campus like a maze._

_Little mouse._

_It fits, he thinks. It suits her._

_Not for the reasons they think._

_He hears the voices, notes the jealousy rolling off them as they make their snide comments. She’s worth more than all of them. Graceful. Delicate._

_Deadly?_

That _remains to be seen._

_He feels Kira slip up beside him, looping her arm through his and tucking herself into his side._

_Kira has not progressed as far as he has. This is only her second time out, after…_

_After..._

_It hurts less, once they finish the neural stripping. They promise there is another phase. Promise him Balance. Promise to take the pain away._

_They mean that he is unbalanced, now._

_It’s their own fault, for not realizing he already was; that he came here off balance—broken. They only made it worse._

_But now he has a mission._

_A purpose._

_Kylo smirks as one of the lab assistants yelps, the test tube she was holding growing hot and shattering in her hand._

_Kira smirks up at him, something unsettling in her expression, as they study the group of haughty graduate students._

_Kira doesn’t like them either._

_Kylo nods to her, a short jerk of his chin, and Kira wraps her free arm around his, too, so that she holds his forearm in both of hers, as she narrows her eyes._

_He feels a rush of pride when three of the bullies yelp and brush at something they can’t see, one of them spouting off something about static charges and the time of year._

_Kylo doesn’t know if the feeling comes from himself or Kira._

_Doesn’t really care._

_The little mouse is meant for greater things. She belongs with them. He takes Kira’s hand, leads her away from the science building._

_They need to report to Dr. Snoke._

_It’s time._

Kylo awakened in the same place he fell, the cavernous room empty now. He didn’t know how long he had lain there, in agony on the floor—likely only a matter of hours. The blood had dried on his skin, tight and itchy.

Kendra Ren was alive.

She took Kira from him, snatched her up from the desert rock.

Destroyed his shuttle.

It had taken him _days_ to get off that gorram rim world, Jakku. He reined in his emotions, tightly sealed in his rage as he locked his helmet in place. It would be enough to cover the blood, until he had time to clean it off. Squaring his shoulders, Kylo strode from the room, snapping out orders as he walked.

Halfway along the main corridor leading from Dr. Snoke’s audience chamber he paused, facing a trembling low-level officer. “Midbulk Transport, Firefly class, Model 03-K64. _Serenity_. FIND IT.”

“Ye…yes, sir!” The unlucky man scrambled away, nearly running as he fumbled in his attempt to access records on the device in his hand.

Kylo would NOT fail again.

_Where are you hiding, little mouse?_


	2. Violence Shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jayne dances with River and Rey, and Kylo gets a new ship.
> 
> _River, a government trained, crazy, genius, psychic assassin._   
>  _Who had apparently brought him another crazy, government trained psychic assassin._   
>  _Because of course she had._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update, that's just how this one wants to be written. I know the flashbacks are confusing, they are kind of meant to be. For anyone not familiar with Firefly/Serenity (and seriously, why aren't you?) the Academy program River Tam attended was basically a front for a government program to create psychic operatives. They performed repeated, invasive surgeries to alter the subjects' brain structure. Her brother spent his entire fortune/inheritance to get her out, not even sure what had been done to her. So yeah, River was more than a little crazy. And by extension, Kylo/Ben and Kira/Rey are as well.

Rey. Her name was Rey, and like as not, she was gonna be a whole heap o’ trouble.

She’d been at the Academy, same as River, but for longer. River insisted they needed help, and while he’d been more ‘n a mite cross with her, he’d learned to trust the girl—young woman—when she said he should do something, so he’d allowed one heap o’ trouble woman and the man traveling with her on his boat.

O’ course, things had been quiet lately, apart from gettin’ shot (again), one might even say it had been smooth sailing for longer than usual, so it stood to reason that extra trouble had found its way onto his boat.

‘Found’ its way via River.

River, a government trained, crazy, genius, psychic assassin.

Who had apparently brought him another crazy, government trained psychic assassin.

Because of course she had.

Mal watched Rey and River move around the bay, barefoot and giggling as they dodged crates and slashed blades at one another.

“They seem…happy.” The voice sounded a little confused.

Mal turned, finding the man who had come aboard with Rey standing a few feet away, watching the two women. Finn was the only name he had given as introduction. Rey and Finn. Mal didn’t respond, just turned his attention back to the bay. A particularly loud clang of metal on metal rang out, followed by a clatter as the sword Rey had been holding fell to the floor. “MY POINT!” River called out, claiming victory for the round and twirling the axe a few times. “Switch?”

Rey nodded, catching the axe handle as River tossed it to her, swinging at the other woman with a feral grin as River ducked and rolled under the blade, retrieving the sword and smoothly returning to her feet with a light bounce.

The two men watched a while longer in silence, each woman disarming the other once more before River claimed victory and turned to the catwalk. “Come dance with us, Finn!”

“I don’t think I know the steps,” he called back, managing not to sound (or look) too intimidated.

“We can show you,” Rey called back, dodging River’s fist and kicking out.

“How ‘bout me, Babydoll?”

River squealed and launched herself at the mercenary as he appeared from behind the mule. “My Jayne! You will dance with us?”

Jayne shifted his arms until River was basically sitting in his hands, her arms around his neck. “Always. But maybe not with blades.”

River nodded, tracing a line across his chest. “No red.” Her face fell as she traced the scar, remembered the day she gave it to him.

“Aw, now, Babydoll, you know that ain’t what I meant.” River refused to look up at him, face hidden behind a curtain of dark hair. Jayne shifted his arms a little, lightly shaking her side to side in his arms until she giggled. “Come on, show this old man some new moves.” He stepped forward, allowing River to slide to the floor before he paused, bending to remove his boots and socks and then stalking forward, eyes on the two women. He paused, pointing at River with one finger. “No readin’ me, _dong ma_ , already ain’t no fair fight, two killer women against little ol’ me.”

River flashed a feral smile, disturbingly similar to the one on Rey’s face.

“Jayne…” Mal called down from the catwalk, unsure if he even meant it as a warning, but if he did it came too late, the three of them snapping into action, limbs almost blurring as they snapped out in kicks and punches.

Mal winced as Rey got in a particularly vicious hit to Jayne’s right thigh while he blocked a blow from River aimed at his face. Rey let out a cry that was more animal than anything as she launched herself at the mercenary, spinning in a circle as she attempted to land a flurry of punches. To his merit, Jayne managed to dodge the first few, but then Rey clipped his jaw and he stumbled back a step. Mal leaned forward, eyes on his mercenary, ready to call an end to this before someone really did get hurt. Then Jayne gave his head a shake and _grinned_ at the woman, looking impressed as he worked his jaw and feinted right before swinging left.

It nearly worked, but it appeared he had forgotten about River and her slim foot snapped out, catching him across the chest and sending him stumbling again as she launched herself forward in a shoulder roll, coming smoothly to her feet behind him as Rey advanced on him again from the front.

It was only a matter of time.

_A matter of time. Tick, tick, tick, counting down from 9._

_It’s only a matter of time, the doctors say, but not to her, never to her. She’s almost ready for the next phase. They don’t say that at all, but she can HEAR it._

_But now “she” isn’t Kira and they don’t want her anymore, even though they keep her anyway._

_It hurts, it all hurts, so much, and she cries out for the family she never had, craving the comfort of a mother she barely remembers. Slim, feminine arms wrap around her._

_River._

_No. Kendra. She’s Kendra now, just like Kira is Kira and Rey is gone._

_“We’ll be okay,” Kendra whispers, arms around her shoulders as they both tremble. “It’s only a matter of time. Protect your spine. Don’t eat the peas,” Kendra whispers. “The prince will climb the tower and claim the first born, and then there will be tea and cakes.” She giggles and Kira thinks the words would still be confusing even if it didn’t hurt so much in her brain._

_“Go back to bed, Kendra. You shouldn’t be out of your room.”_

_Kylo. Kira whimpers at his voice, flinches as she hears more words he doesn’t say, burns at a wash of RED and BLACK and HEAT._

_Kendra gives him a haughty, knowing look. “You think you wear the crown but it’s only thorns without roses.”_

_Kira giggles, hiccups, gasps at the new rush of pain in her head. “ **He looks better in red** ,” Kira says, and it’s Kendra’s turn to giggle and then gasp at the pain. “But he’s all dark and booming, bite, bite, bite.” Kira looks back at Kylo, eyes narrow. “You wear the darkness like a cloak but no one has starched your collar and the lining is false.”_

_He shakes his head, picking his way across the room and pulling Kendra from the edge of Kira’s narrow bed with one hand, the other coming to rest on Kira’s forehead. Kylo’s face twists in a grimace. “Sleep.” She can feel him there, in her head, hear the command in the back of her mind. Sleep beckons, and the pain washes away._

_She doesn’t see the sly look Kendra shoots Kylo before she breaks free, dashing for the hallway, doesn’t see the pained look on his face as he rubs at his temples before turning to follow Kendra, intent on putting her back to bed before the guards come on their next round._

_She doesn’t see because she can’t, she’s already asleep, wrapped in a cloak of warm darkness, floating in a dreamless sleep. She doesn’t see, but she still knows. She knows because he sees and what he sees is hers too, now._

_Balance._

Jayne pulled the punch just in time, barely missing Rey as she stood frozen, staring blankly. He looked at River, recognizing the expression. “Riv, is she…?”

River nodded, approaching slowly. “Lost, drowning, the sea is red but it isn’t blood and the gray is too bright. She needs the darkness.” River paused, head cocked to one side as she studied Rey. “Jayne?” River reached out with one hand, eyes never leaving the other woman. Jayne’s fingers covered hers, the warmth of him steadying her, and he moved slowly forward until he was pressed against River’s back, free arm wrapping around her waist as she sighed and slumped against him. It only took a moment for River to regain her equilibrium, shake off the memories, fight her way out of all Rey was projecting.

The clang of boots on metal heralded the captain’s arrival, followed closely by Finn. “Everything shiny, lil albatross?” River nodded, still not looking away from Rey. The other woman was trembling, chest heaving for breath. “See, that’s not convincing me.”

River held up a hand, silencing Mal, and took one step away from Jayne. “Rey?” The other woman trembled more violently. “ _Kira.”_ Still nothing. Quick as a viper, River’s hand shot out, catching Rey across the face, leaving her lip bloody. Rey blinked once, then screamed and fell to her knees, blood trailing from her nose and eyes, a trickle of red from her ears. Mal knelt beside Rey, his own face pale as she just kept screaming, hands moving up to her face. He grabbed her arms before she could scratch her own eyes out. Fortunately for _both_ of them she was in too much pain to fight him.

River cursed in Mandarin, throwing herself back against Jayne where she huddled into a ball, eyes wide. “Violence shared is doubled, no longer halved. Two by two. Hands of blue. He’s coming.”

Without waiting to be told, Finn ran for the doctor.

He’d commandeered a new ship. No mere long-range shuttle this time, but a small, sleek fighter. Experimental; a prototype model of the new Whisper line.

The look on the red-haired general’s face was worth any punishment that may be visited upon him later. Kylo smiled to himself as he recalled the shocked horror pulsing from the other man as he piloted the ship away from the Alliance cruiser. For once in his life, Hux had been speechless. Kylo decided that was a good enough reason to christen his new ship the _Silencer_.

Now, to find Kira. He checked the coordinates again and settled in. With all the resources of the Alliance military, the Academy, and the backing of Blue Sun, somehow, they still hadn’t been able to find _Serenity_.

They HAD located one of her shuttles. Hostages were an annoyance he normally didn’t care for, but they occasionally served a purpose. He could always dispose of them later.

_“Dispose of them.”_

_Snoke is imperious, uncaring. This is a test, assessment for the next level. Kylo smirks, pleased. He’s waited for this day for too long. But how to do it?_

_He likes blades, likes making the metal edge heat just this side of searing so it hurts more, prolongs the inevitable. But he hasn’t been given a weapon. He narrows his eyes, lips pursed._

_Fire comes easily, but he can’t sustain it._

_The graduate students yelp, slapping at their sleeves as sparks take hold, tiny tongues of flame licking along their limbs. One of them wets himself and Kylo makes a face. Weak. They’re all weak._

_“No. Not you, Kylo. This is Kira’s task.”_

_He looks to Dr. Snoke, unable to completely hide his surprise. She’s not ready._

_Dr. Snoke gives him a long look. Measuring._

_Suspicious._

_Kylo looks away first, turning to face the pair of women. “Kira. Do it.”_

_She jerks, horror creeping over her face. “No.” She says it, just like that. Just ‘No’ and she glares at the doctor, defiant even as he dons the long blue gloves, reaches for the dial on the device._

_The graduate students fall, one by one, cries cut off before the blood starts to flow and Snoke releases the button. “Good. Very good, my pet.” A cruel smile twists his scarred face as he flips the dial and presses the button anyway. “Defiance will not be tolerated.”_

_Kira gasps, falling to her knees as Kylo grits his teeth. Kendra is on the floor, nose already dripping blood. He lets himself fall, has to keep up the act. He twists just so at the last moment, hoping the trickle of blood from his own nose will be enough to pass it off. After all, the dial is only on 2._

_Snoke gives him another look, shakes his head once, an overly dramatic sigh of disappointment coming from him._

_He knows. Somehow, he knows._

The proximity alarm stirred Kylo from his thoughts. Haven. Foolish name for a planet meant for hiding. He landed beside the shuttle. Decrepit thing hardly seemed space worthy.

“You should not have come here.”

The man with no name stepped around the shuttle, sword already bare in his hand. Kylo wasted no time, one hand extended as he forced the man back, shoved him against the metal hull of the shuttle without ever making contact. The man’s eyes bulged as he fought to make his lungs work while heat rose inside him. The former Operative of Parliament couldn’t even fight back when Kylo took the sword from his hand, running him through with his own blade.

Kylo preferred his longsword, but for this there was something almost poetic about using the former Operative’s katana. “You’re a disgrace,” Kylo muttered, pulling the blade back, studying it a moment before wiping the blade against the fallen man’s pants leg. “Decent blade though.” He leaned forward, voice low as if he were sharing secrets. “I think I’ll keep it.” He turned for the settlement, headed unerringly for the only occupied dwelling.


	3. Cattywampus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew confronts Finn and Kylo Ren finds Serenity.
> 
> _“Rey? Are you back again?”_   
>  _The other woman licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I…yes. How long?”_   
>  _“Two days.”_   
>  _“He’s coming.”_   
>  _“He’s almost here.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, an update. Yeah, I wasn't sure it was going to happen either. 
> 
> If you have any interest in the [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lzjrok3gYxeHU2sdAyxg5?si=DKFWe4KSSF64ab2JYMW8BA) for this fic, check it out. I particularly find the first and last songs to be very Reylo. Unlike most of my playlists, this one isn't particularly spoilery as it's more about the mood for the story (and the mindset I need to be in to write it).

Mal stared at the man, jaw ticking. “Talk.”

Finn groaned and leaned forward, elbows on the table as he ran his hands over his face. “I don’t know much more than you do,” he began, looking up to return the captain’s steady glare. “I only met Rey a few days before you did. I…I worked security at the Academy.” Jayne straightened from where he’d been leaning against a wall. His hands clenched into fists and he began glaring at the younger man as well. Simon cursed and leaned forward, as if he intended to reach across the table and throttle Finn, but Kaylee grabbed his arm, patting him soothingly.

River stepped up behind Finn, a calm hand on his shoulder as she trained her gaze on Jayne, waiting until the mercenary relaxed his hands and pulled a knife from a sheath on his belt, using the point to scrape at the dirt under his fingernails. River shook her head affectionately, knowing that it wasn’t actually an intimidation tactic. Jayne just needed to be _doing_ something. Always in motion, her Jayne. He reminded her of someone else…River winced and took the chair beside Finn. “Go on, tell them,” she said, pushing away thoughts of that other man. It was easier, while Rey was unconscious, but just having her on Serenity was a setback.

Finn took another breath. “I assume you’re familiar with the Miranda broadwave? A couple years ago?” He looked around the room in confusion as the reactions of the people surrounding him ranged from tight grins to outright laughter.

“Ah, yeah, we’ve seen it,” Mal said, lips twitching.

Finn nodded, seemingly more to himself than anything. “Okay, okay then, good.” He paused, looking up at the ceiling as if the words he sought would show up there. “So, you know, there was a scandal for a while, a few key members of Parliament lost their seats, there were protests and riots, mostly on the outer rim, easy enough to cover up, and most people just…let themselves forget.” Finn shifted, looking across the room, staring blankly at the wall. “I was just a soldier, just following orders, but then we got sent to the Rim, ordered to put down any semblance of rebellion.” His jaw tightened, eyes narrowing in anger. “They ordered us to fire on unarmed civilians. I refused. A few others did, as well. We were all disciplined, discharged, some brought up on charges. I was…contacted, recruited by a group who DID believe it, who had been working for years to try and uncover things like Miranda. They were watching several individuals and organizations, and they got me in as security at a private facility run by a doctor named Snoke.”

River jerked in her chair, reacting to the name like a blow despite already knowing what Finn would say. Simon, Jayne, Mal, and Kaylee all moved, calling her name and looking like they were about to swarm over her. “I’m all right,” she said. “Let him finish. You need to know.”

Finn looked at her, studied her for a moment before he continued. “Anyway, it was…some kind of military medical installation, high level. Lots of research and experiments. I think…well, the rumor was that they were trying to create super soldiers, a new breed of Parliamentary Operatives with…” he paused, swallowing hard and flinching as if he didn’t expect them to believe him. “With psychic powers.”

“Yeah, and?” Jayne said, looking bored and using the blade of the big bowie knife to trim the edge of his thumbnail.

Finn blinked in confusion. “You…you believe that?”

“Ain’t no rumor. You’re sittin’ next to one of them, came on board with another,” Mal said, gesturing vaguely towards River.

He turned and stared at the slight woman, shock clear on his features. “You…you’re Kendra Ren, aren’t you?”

River made a face, shook her head. “Never Kendra. Always River.” She tried not to flinch when he unconsciously shifted away from her. She failed.

Jayne did round the table then, claiming the seat beside River and pulling her into his lap. She went willingly, curling against his chest, her head tucked under his chin as one of his hands traced up and down her spine. She couldn’t see it, but she knew he was glaring at the younger man. Her Jayne was the most intimidating person she had ever met outside of the Program.

Finn shifted uncomfortably, knowing he’d crossed a line but unable to control the mixture of awe and terror at being so close to the woman who, at seventeen, had already been a legend in Finn’s world. People at the Resistance spoke of her in awed reverence.

A creature of extraordinary grace.

Their first rescue.

The leadership would give their eyeteeth to have her as a figurehead. He couldn’t help wondering if he could convince her…

“Won’t. Won’t do it, won’t be an empty symbol like the Shepherd’s pages, pulled loose and returned to paper.” River hadn’t moved, never looked up at him. “There are others better suited. Just need the Balance,” she mumbled.

What was she tal—

Oh.

Right.

A Reader.

He kept forgetting.

_Mistake._

_They went too deep, stripped too much._

_She HURTS._

_They don’t care, too busy congratulating themselves. Her first mission is done._

_Blood._

_Blood and fire and she burns with it, the need to get it OFF._

_“Stop.”_

_She doesn’t listen, can’t hear, just keeps scrubbing._

_“Little mouse, you’re hurting yourself.”_

_He’s gentle again, always gentle with her. With them. She blinks, struggling to focus because there’s something red in her EYES._

_Needles. Needles in her eyes—poke, poke, poke._

_One to the brainpan **[SQUISH]** , scrape and strip and she CAN HEAR them._

_Haystacks and needles and little Miss Muffet but the spider is drowning in the whey._

_Kylo pushes her hair away from her face, pulls her out from under the shower spray, takes her to Kira._

_Kira who helps her pull off the sodden rags, balls them up to hide the blood. So much blood but none of it is hers and yet it all IS by right of conquest and that is WORSE._

****

**_8.6 seconds._ **

_But they didn’t give her adequate vacuuming systems so it takes longer and he just SITS there making those sounds and the blood is still flowing. He gave her his pen and she gave it back and now it’s his again and the blood is hers._

_So much blood and it’s everywhere and out, out damned spot and her hair is wet and she is cold, so cold and they cuddle her between them, Kira and Kylo, sharing warmth but they can’t keep her safe. No one is safe it isn’t safe and Simon is coming but the balance is off._

_Balance._

River snuggled more firmly into the safe cage of Jayne’s arms, her back pressed firmly to his chest as she pulled at his arms, squirming until he held her tighter, locking her in place and finally she could _breathe_ again. The rest of the crew and Finn were gone, the lights in the mess dim. “You okay, Babydoll?”

She giggled, feeling the rumble of his words where his chest pressed against her back. “Better now. How long this time?”

She felt Jayne drop a kiss on the top of her head. “’bout an hour.”

River tensed against him. It was getting worse. “Lost in the woods.” She slipped off his lap, padding silently to the infirmary to gaze through one of the windows. She knew he followed just as he knew she wanted— _needed_ —him to do.

Rey was still unconscious, lost in the haze of memory and dream. Despite her best efforts, River got flashes, confusing images of fires from nothing and electric shocks without static. And skin.

She tried hardest to block out _those_ images. The weren’t hers and she hadn’t the right to see them but Rey just kept _pushing_ them, not on purpose, but... River shook her head, reaching for her Jayne, relying on his presence to help shield her. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her back against him and resting his cheek on her hair. “She’ll wake up soon.”

“Want I should fetch your brother?” Jayne mumbled against the crown of her head. River shook her head, relaxing against him.

“Don’t leave me, my Jayne.”

“Never.”

Rey began shifting restlessly in her sleep as they watched, lips opening silently around a name.

_“Ben. For the old man. Their only hope.”_

_Kira looks at her, head cocked to one side. “How do you know? Did he…tell you? But not me?”_

_“No. I just…I know. He told me without telling.” She gets a far-off look, staring blankly at the wall behind Kira. “Won’t be long now. The current is swift, rub a dub dub, three men in a tub, and a box for the girl.” Kendra trails off, words fading into a laugh that makes Kira shiver._

_“She’s getting worse. We have to DO something. It wasn’t this bad for us.”_

_“There’s nothing we CAN do.” He speaks harshly. He does that now, more and more often. His touch is still gentle, but his words sting and burn, the edge of a knife._

_Kira winces but moves closer, placing one hand on his arm. “I have a bad feeling, Kylo. Something…something is going to happen.”_

_Kendra speaks in metaphors, but the realization comes too late. Kira knows, finally she SEES, but Kendra is gone. Kendra is gone and Kylo is leaving and Kira remains._

_Left behind._

_All alone._

_Unwanted._

_She tears at her hair, scratches at her skin because she can FEEL and the feeling wants OUT. The whispers skitter along her spine._

**_PROTECT YOUR SPINE_ **

_Kira destroys her mattress but there’s no pea. Her head hurts again. Her head hurts and she’s alone and with Kendra gone they take Kira to the lab again._

_Settling for second best._

Rey sat up with a wild cry, gasping for air. There was a clatter of metal as a few instruments hovered inches above the counters before falling. “Now you can call for Simon,” River directed at Jayne, not looking at him as she opened the door, approaching Rey cautiously with her hands held out.

“Ben. Ben. Where is he? Is he here?”

River paused just out of Rey’s immediate reach. “Not yet.”

The Wave came through while Simon was examining Rey, River hovering close by just in case. Mal called for her over the comm, and when she didn’t show sent Kaylee to fetch her. “He can wait,” River growled, cutting the mechanic off before she could even speak. Kaylee flinched at her tone, taking an unconscious step back, but River never looked away from Rey. River knew all too well the kind of Trojan horse the Academy could have been capable of unleashing on them, no matter Rey’s intentions.

“Rey? Are you back again?”

The other woman licked her lips and took a deep breath. “I…yes. How long?”

“Two days.”

“He’s coming.”

“He’s almost here.”

River held out a hand, waiting patiently until Rey took it, then led her to the bridge, both of them ignoring Simon’s complaints that he hadn’t finished examining Rey and she really should rest. Neither woman bothered to point out that she had been resting for two days.

Jayne fell in behind them.

The man on the screen was a familiar stranger, and Rey whimpered when she saw his face.

It wasn’t Kylo.

“River Tam. Rey the Scavenger.” The former Operative coughed, winced in pain and fought for the breath to speak. “Kylo Ren is coming for you. He has—” he paused again, wheezing. “He has taken…the shuttle. And your people. Hostages.”

The proximity alarm went off.

Mal cursed in Mandarin, then again in English. “Gorram shuttle’s docking.” He pressed a few options on screens, flipped switches, still cursing. “I can’t stop it. River—”

He turned to find River and Rey running, headed for the bay, Jayne on their heels. 

Diversion. The shuttle was a diversion. Mal followed, yelling orders for Kaylee and the doctor to lock themselves in the bridge with Finn. For once they listened.

Simon turned his attention to the cortex screen. “You need medical attention.”

“There is nothing left for me, Dr. Tam. No one is here.”

“There have to be ships nearby. Send out a beacon.”

The man coughed weakly, slumping in his seat.

Finn grabbed Simon’s shoulders, leaning in. “Where is he? What are the coordinates?”

“Why?”

“So we can send help! Why do you think?”

“So valiant,” came weakly over the wave transmission.

Kaylee called out the coordinates before Simon could decide whether or not to trust Finn, this stranger in the brown leather jacket.

“I’m sorry, I have to cut your transmission. You don’t give up, okay? Do you hear me?” The man on the screen either nodded or fell unconscious as Finn ended the wave and set up for a new one.

River clutched at her axe, her sword in Rey’s hand as they stood facing the airlock. Jayne was behind them, as much of his arsenal as he’d been able to grab at hand. River had shoved the captain at the shuttle, insisting he was needed there.

The sound of the airlock opening seemed louder than it should have. River shifted, holding her position even as Rey stepped forward. Footsteps clattered behind her and River held out a fist, urging the Captain and his newly rescued First Mate to hold. They froze automatically, even though their days as soldiers were long over.

Something was off.

_Off kilter. Out of whack. Cattywampus._

_She likes that one best._

_Kylo had given her that one and he almost smiled for real when she giggled._

_He hasn’t smiled in a long time. She misses his smile._

_He doesn’t call her little mouse anymore._

_She misses that too._

_Something has changed. Kylo has Balance but it’s off. Cattywampus._

_Kira sleeps too much. She ate the peas._

_Don’t eat the peas. Protect your spine._

_Kylo doesn’t eat his vegetables._

The door hissed open and Rey let out a hiss of her own as Kylo stepped into the cargo bay of _Serenity_ , a blade in each hand. River shifted slightly, putting herself in front of the crew as best she could while Rey launched herself at Kylo. He deflected her blade almost lazily, ducking his head as she spun for another attempt and pointing at her with the other blade he held. Rey hissed as the metal in her hand grew hotter, spewing curses at the man and attacking again, managing to smack the flat of the blade against his left arm, the former Operative's katana falling to the bay floor with a clang.

Kylo simply shifted to a two-handed grip on his longsword, spinning in a blur of dark hair and black fabric as Rey came at him again, dropping to one knee before her, staring up into her face as he dropped the sword at her feet and raised his chin.

Rey stopped her strike just short of his throat, trembling as the metal brushed his skin.

“Do it, Kira.”

She glared, ground out from between clenched teeth: “Do you think I won’t?”

He just kept looking at her. “I hoped you would.” He shifted, leaning forward, trying to press into the blade as she drew it back. “Please.” His lip trembled. “ _Rey._ ”

Rey threw the sword to the floor.

“ _Ben._ ”

He leaned forward, head resting against her stomach as she clutched him to her.

River relaxed, lowering her axe as Mal walked closer to her, studying the pair in the bay. “Huh. Didn’t see that coming,” the captain mumbled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? You thought I was gonna draw this out and keep them apart? Please...I so needed to get Ben onto Serenity if for no other reason than to make him dress like Mal. Also they have Academy-destroying business to attend to, and River needs Ben and Rey together so Rey will maybe be able to stop projecting her thoughts and memories so much.


	4. No Squish Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of Serenity (and Finn) wait to see what will happen when Kylo Ren wakes up.  
>  _River shook her head, studying the unconscious man._  
>  _Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?_  
>  _She wasn’t sure, couldn’t be sure, couldn’t tell. It frightened her._  
>  _All they could do was watch and wait for him to wake. She supposed then she would know by whether or not he killed them all._

Mal watched the unconscious couple from what he hoped was a safe distance. River still looked up at him from inside the infirmary, but she didn’t seem to _see_ him. Jayne gave him a nod, still keeping watch with River.

She’d been the one to dope them.

After the man had dropped his weapons and begged Rey to kill him and then she’d dropped her weapon too, River had slipped away and then returned with something in each hand. Mal had in fact wondered what she was doing right up until she injected Rey and the man with a high enough dose of smoothers that they had both fallen unconscious almost immediately. She’d hovered close as Jayne and Mal hefted the man and got him into the infirmary, Jayne’s sidearm in her hand, bullet in the chamber.

Once the man was on the bed River sent Jayne back for Rey and then went about using every restraint available to tie the stranger down, muttering to herself. All Mal could make out was “Need chains. Metal. Straps won’t be enough. They were never enough.”

As Jayne placed Rey down on the other bed in the med-bay—the one that was really more shelf with padding than sick bed—River went still, that creepifyin’ look that meant she was gettin’ bogged down in Academy memories comin’ over her face.

“You should see ta’ th’others, Mal. Zoe an’ Nara an’ the little ‘un might need seein’ to by the doc.” The merc reached over, gently removing his gun from River’s fingers, keepin’ it out and the round chambered. He didn’t take his eyes off the man in all black as he stepped up behind River, wrappin’ his free arm ‘round her waist and kissing the top of her head.

Mal had to admit, man made sense sometimes. Maybe that was River’s influence. Til River came out o’ her _spell_ , weren’t no one more able than Jayne to keep ‘em all safe. Mal left the infirmary with just the one look back.

His life was gettin’ mighty strange these days.

Again.

_Not enough. He looks at the heavy restraints in contempt. It’s not enough, it’s never enough. This will be his last treatment, even if they don’t know it yet._

_They shouldn’t have meddled._

_He smirks when the restraints sizzle and snap, the nylon and canvas and leather no match for the flame licking just above his skin. The buckles mostly survive, the metal a little warped from the heat but not so melted they can’t be identified._

_Before they even realize he’s free he’s out of the chair, one arm reaching out for the closest guard. A grinding snap echoes down his arm as he drops the man and reaches out with the other hand._

_The lab tech carrying the needles, the syringes and medications, yelps as they explode and rain down around her in a shower of plastic, glass, and metal shards._

_He lets her leave, and the other guard, the one who thinks this is what they deserve for the things they’ve done here. The doctor almost manages to escape as the other lab assistants and techs scatter, some of them falling over the dead guard’s body. This one…he isn’t the one who touched Kira, but he’s thought about it._

_It’s gratifying to listen to him gasp and choke as he struggles to breathe again—he won’t._

_He leaves the lab calmly, walks back to his room to sit and wait._

_No more procedures._

_It’s time for his Balance._

_His first mission for Dr. Snoke is complete._

River jerked against Jayne with a gasp. It was the first time she had gotten sucked into a memory from a time before she was even in the program. Rey had pulled her in a few times, but those were shared memories, times they’d both been there and the lines blurred between them. River was never Kendra, but sometimes it had felt like she was almost Rey. River shook her head, studying the unconscious man.

Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?

She wasn’t sure, couldn’t be sure, couldn’t _tell._ It frightened her.

All they could do was watch and wait for him to wake. She supposed then she would know by whether or not he killed them all.

Finn was in a panic. “Kylo Ren? Here? On THIS ship?”

“Yep.” The captain just _stood_ there. Why was he just standing there? They needed to run.

“Why are you so calm? We need to run. Take the shuttles, contact my people…he’ll kill us all!”

“Mayhap,” Captain Reynolds said, still leaning back against the console with his arms crossed over his chest, legs casually crossed at the ankle. “But not while he’s doped up and tied down in the med-bay.”

Finn gaped, mouth opening and closing several times. “Wha-? Who? Uh, who managed that?”

“River.”

“You should tell him the rest, sir.” The tall woman, the new one from the shuttle who was apparently First Mate said.

“Where’s the fun in that, Zoe?”

“All respect sir…there’s a time for fun and this ain’t it.”

“Zoe’s right, Mal,” said the other woman, the one they’d said was a real Companion, Guild registered and everything.

Mal straightened a little, effectively chastised by the women, running a tired hand over his face. “Ain’t…ain’t right sure what’s going on here, on my own gorram ship, but I’ve learned to trust River. She doped him, doped them both. Said she don’t rightly know what will happen when they wake up, then she tied this ‘Ren’ man down and sent us here. Coulda killed him, easy like. Didn’t.”

“Still ain’t sure that was the right call,” Zoe muttered.

The captain continued on, ignoring her. “River says we need to wait. We wait.”

He turned and walked away, leaving the bridge. The Companion—Inara, her name was Inara—hurried after him. Zoe gave Finn a long look, and he felt the unspoken threat settle over him. Then the First Mate followed Mal at a much more sedate pace, but with her back straight, shoulders set. He thought she looked like a former soldier, trying not to march.

Seeing the two women on the ship, remembering the way the rest of the crew acted like there was some inside joke between them about the Miranda broadwave, the fact that they’d just calmly accepted that Snoke’s Academy was creating psychic operatives…it _couldn’t_ be...

Could it?

Was _Malcolm Reynolds_ the Browncoat who’d lit the sparks of rebellion by releasing that footage? Was this really the man who had told the ‘verse where Reavers came from?

It was…not what he expected.

Of course, neither was Han Solo.

He really needed to contact his people. This was _huge._

_They’ll come for her again soon. Back to the lab, needles and knives and burning her eyes and she needs to protect her spine._

_She can FEEL and she doesn’t want to._

_The guard in the hall is scared. His partner is bored and thinking about what he needs from the grocer after his shift._

_She whimpers, clutches at her head._

_She needs Kendra._

_She needs Kylo._

_But she’s alone and it’s cold, always so COLD._

River’s head snapped up as Rey shivered, curling into a ball. She narrowed her eyes, studying the other woman. She was dreaming, hazy images of the Academy, but River hadn’t gotten sucked in, hadn’t been pulled into the memory as if she were the one in that cell that passed for a bedroom.

“A’ight Babydoll?

“Fine, my Jayne.” She turned on him with a radiant smile. “The Balance is restored and I am not drowning.”

“Uh, okay…”

River started to speak, to try to tell him in a way he could understand, but her attention moved to Kylo as he groaned and shifted minutely beneath the straps and chains. “He’s waking up,” she said, taking Jayne’s gun and pushing him farther away, putting herself in between the two very large men capable of extreme violence. It was almost humorous.

Dark lashes fluttered. She remembered those eyes, but she still wasn’t sure which man they belonged to. He blinked again, then squinted as if his vision was not quite clear yet. There was a clanking sound as he tried to move and the buckles on the restraints did their job—for now. She watched in silence as the confusion cleared. There was a flash of anger, quickly replaced by a mixture of relief and despair.

“Little mouse?”

She didn’t move closer, didn’t respond, just stared and kept the gun trained on his forehead. Instead of letting the anger come or freeing himself, the man just gave what she thought was a nod, licked his lips, and closed his eyes. “I understand. Do it quickly. I don’t know how long you have.”

Ben, then. This was Ben.

Slowly River lowered the weapon, holding it out for Jayne to take as she stepped closer—still out of Ben’s reach should he get free, but closer.

“Ben?”

“For now.” His eyes fluttered open, irritation and confusion replaced by fear when he saw she was no longer armed. “No, you have to do it. You have to stop me.” He began to panic, struggling against the restraints. “ ** _Bullet to the brain pan_** , remember, Little Mouse? Break the link, and one survives.”

“There will be no **_squish_** today,” River said.

He was prepared to argue, but there was a sound from the other side of the room. River was already removing the restraints when Rey hopped down and crossed the room with a wild cry. “Ben! BenBenBenBenBen!” She leaned over the bed, pressing her forehead to his, murmuring words meant only for his ears as River worked to remove the restraints. As soon as his right arm was free his hand moved up to cradle Rey’s face. She wasn’t whispering to him anymore, just hovering there, silently pressed against him.

Once she finished with her task, River backed away, tears glistening in her eyes as she grasped Jayne’s hand, threading her fingers through his as she led him out of the room and away from the med-bay.

“Mal, please! The man took us hostage, I think he killed the Operative, and he threatened the baby! You cannot expect me to just accept that!” The companion wasn’t yelling, but it was a near thing. Zoe stood behind Inara, stoic as ever, but tension radiated from her frame.

“He’s not dead,” Finn offered from the corner, and the woman swung around, directing her ire at him.

“Who are you and what place do you even have in this discussion?” she hissed, eyes narrowed.

“Wow, okay, not what I expected from a Companion with the way Poe talks about them.”

“Poe?” questioned Simon, just stepping into the mess. “Poe Dameron?”

Inara made a sound of frustration (it wasn’t a scream, it really wasn’t, but ‘screech’ wasn’t far off the mark).

River stepped into the room, pulling Jayne behind her, as Kaylee followed Simon in through the opposite door, Zoe’s daughter wrapped in her arms. When Hope spotted Jayne she let out a screech of elation and held her arms out, squirming so energetically Kaylee nearly dropped her.

With the exception of Hope and her ‘Unca Jayne,’ every eye snapped to River and an uneasy silence fell as she spoke. “They’re awake.” The announcement was met mostly with fear, and a hint of curiosity. “It’s safe enough for now. You should all sit.” She gestured at the table and everyone dropped into what had become ‘their’ seat, leaving Finn to stand at the far end, gazing about for a chair.

Jayne pointed over Finn’s shoulder and the younger man turned, finding three chairs in a corner. He stepped over and reached for one, freezing when the First Mate practically snarled at him, the “No!” from her lips reverberating around the room.

He reached for the second chair. “Not that one, neither,” Captain Reynolds said, tone brooking no argument.

Finn cringed as he reached for the third one, pausing a moment before picking it up to carry it to the table. No one denied him use of it so he sat down, movements slow and tentative, and folded his hands on the table in front of him as he looked up expectantly.

River looked at each person in turn, head cocked to the side and he wondered if she was Reading them. She shot a glance of derision his way. Okay, just him then. “You think too loud. Should see to that,” she muttered before resuming her long looks at each person around her.

“It’s not safe. Not for anyone,” River began. “Least of all for _them_. The Alliance military, Parliament, Blue Sun, everyone has an interest in the Academy. It’s a private facility, experimental, within a top secret military base.” Simon (her brother, Finn remembered) nodded at her. “They’ve been doing this for years, stealing away children for their _experiments_. Jubal Early was the first to survive.” There was some shuffling around the table. Apparently the crew knew Early. “The man Snoke called Kylo Ren was the second. Two more of us, Rey and then me. We are all who survived; dozens, maybe hundreds of people, mostly _children_ , and they only managed to keep _four_ of us alive. Acceptable losses, that’s what the doctors said. Their failures were acceptable losses, so long as they learned something for the next attempt.”

More uneasy shuffling came from around the table, and the tension in the room increased by the moment.

“The clearance _his_ people got,” she said, motioning towards Finn, “Whatever credentials they used to get him a job at Snoke’s labs, they shouldn’t have been able to access it. Especially not after Simon got me out with their help.” That fact drew an audible gasp from Kaylee, and the others turned to stare at Finn with varying degrees of shock, suspicion, and anger. River winced and placed a hand on Jayne’s arm, fingers slipping under the sleeve of his T-shirt as she stroked at him like a pet or a comfort object.

“We—Rey, and Ben, and…and _me_ —we need to go back with Finn, meet with his organization and find out how to take the Academy down.”

The table erupted in chaos, everyone but Jayne and River arguing against the idea. Even Finn was against it, though his reasons were more based in fear for his own safety (he trusted Rey so far, and River was nice enough, he supposed, but he didn’t really know her, but he absolutely was _not_ going anywhere with Kylo Ren).

River stood, hands flat on the table as she stared down at the scarred surface. He could see her lips moving, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. It wasn’t meant for him anyway. She took a deep breath and her head snapped up, the fire in her eyes first directed at her brother, then at the Captain.

“I am _not asking permission._ The things they do there…” she shivered in spite of the iron control she was trying to keep on herself. “It’s _evil._ Snoke has to be stopped. The Academy has to fall. But I won’t risk my family. I am telling you to stay out of it, go to ground, find a place to hide.”

“River,” Simon started, his tone pleading.

“That ain’t the way this goes, lil Albatross. If we’re really family like you say, then we fight together. Just like after Miranda.” There were nods all around the table. Finn managed to contain his gasp at the confirmation of his suspicions.

She started to speak, then paused and turned expectantly towards the door she and Jayne had come through. Finn heard it then. Footsteps. Not the heavy clomp of boots but the light steps of someone trying not to draw attention. He looked up, expecting to see Rey, and sure enough, she _was_ there, but she wasn’t alone. What he was not expecting was the man with her to have been able to move so quietly. Kylo Ren pointed at Finn, expression blank as he said, “He needs to contact my mother.”


	5. Freckles and Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River tries to explain things and Finn contacts his people.
> 
> _“What you need to know, what he needs to know,” she said, pointing in Finn’s direction, “Is that the man in the infirmary with Simon, the one you only know as Kylo Ren, his name is Ben.”_   
>  _“Right, heard Rey call him that when he surrendered like,” the Captain said, voice strained even though he tried to mask his impatience. Girl was tryin’ somethin’ fierce to explain so they could all understand._   
>  _“Ben Solo.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing directly from the previous chapter with no gap in action or conversation.

“I didn’t tell them that part, yet,” River muttered, scowling at Ben the way she did Simon when he annoyed her.

“All shiny, little witch?” Mal inquired.

“Yes, Captain. Current threat level is negligible.” She hadn’t looked away from Ben, but the scowl had shifted into a considering look. River turned back to the crew (and Finn) assembled around the table, opening her mouth to continue but the man crossed the room in three strides, cutting her off.

“We don’t have time for this right now.”

Even the non-psychics in the room picked up on his growing panic as he fidgeted, running a hand through his hair as his breathing sped. Rey put a hand on his back. They weren’t sure what all triggered the conditioning to kick in, but stress could certainly be a factor. River’s eyes widened and she reached over, grabbing Jayne’s big Bowie knife. She flipped it into the air and Ben caught it, digging the blade into his upper arm. Before anyone else could even react, he’d cut something out from under his skin, flipped it onto the table, and smashed it with the knife hilt. “That’s one,” he said, holding the knife hilt-first toward Rey behind him. As soon as she took the blade he dropped to his knees, leaning his head forward and holding his hair off his neck.

“Stop!” Simon called, standing from his chair.

Rey ignored him, taking a deep breath and placing the tip of the blade at the base of Ben’s skull.

For once River listened to her brother, gently but firmly grasping Rey’s forearm, not allowing the razor edge of the blade to break the skin.

“Let Simon help.”

The three assassins shared a long look before Ben nodded and stood, taking Rey’s hand and allowing Simon to lead them both back to the infirmary. River wiped the knife blade on the hem of her dress and returned it to the sheath on Jayne’s belt. Fiddling with it a moment as if not quite ready to explain what had just happened.

_What’s happening?_

_Cut. Scrape. Burn. Stitch._

_Go too deep and it pinches._

_Her spine. She has to protect her spine before the spider spins his web._

_The River flows, hides the peas under her mattress like stones in the silt._

_Kira doesn’t understand. She eats her vegetables, but never the meat. They cook it too long._

_They’ll take her to the lab again. She’s not ready, still in pieces not stitched together, not ready for lightning and a Swiss Italian German doctor._

_“It’s alive!”_

_She giggles when Kylo jumps at her shriek behind him, dodging his grasp as she runs down the corridor._

_Shouldn’t be here._

_Not allowed._

_Olly olly oxen free._

_Kira tags her out._

_She still doesn’t know what’s happening._

_It hurts. It always hurts now._

“River, Cap’n’s gettin’ mighty tired of not knowin’ what’s goin’ on here, on my own _gorram_ boat. Give us the short version—in Cap’n Dummy speak, please.”

River jumped a bit, startled by the Captain’s gruff voice. Finn watched as River shook her head, took in a deep breath and seemed to hold it as she studied Mal. Finn had to admit, he was increasingly curious and frustrated himself.

When River did speak, it was in a slow, even tone and she seemed to be concentrating very hard to make herself understood.

“Kylo Ren isn’t his real name. Snoke picked it, wanted to keep things uniform. He changed Rey’s name to Kira, made everyone call me Kendra.” She paused, eyes closing for a moment as she reached out to Jayne, hand lightly on his arm as if the touch grounded her somehow. Jayne shifted the sleeping baby—Hope, the first mate’s daughter, Finn reminded himself—to his left shoulder, steadying her with his left hand so he could move his right closer to River.

“Dr. Snoke,” River began again, face twisted in a grimace as she said the name, “He wanted a cohesive unit. Stripped of individuality. A hive mind. It almost worked.” She glanced up at the doorway Simon had gone through with the other… _psychic assassins_ …and smiled. “Simon rescued the girl, pulled the princess from the tower, and the plan failed.” Her gaze was getting distant, and the looks the crew exchanged suggested to Finn that River slipping into speaking about herself in third person was a reason for concern.

River kept talking, eyes focused on some faraway point the rest of them couldn’t see. “Once they were programmed,” she said, voice light and airy, “they would be dispatched as a team, elite and specialized—The Knights of Ren—their _talents_ and _services_ only made available to the highest paying clients—or used against the doctor’s greatest enemies. Fitted with long range tracker chips, so they couldn’t run. Only _Kylo’s_ was ever implanted and activated.”

Jayne laced his fingers through River’s, squeezed at her hand a bit and she seemed to come back to herself, a brief, grateful smile aimed at the big man before turning her attention back to the captain. “The girl gets lost…she— _I_ —apologize.” No one spoke, waiting for her to continue. “That was what he cut out of his arm. The long range tracker. They were going to implant mine the day after Simon saved me. Rey doesn’t have one either. We all had short range chips, just here,” she said, indicating the area at the base of her skull, and they planned to put something else at the base of the spine, not a tracker…” she touched her lower back, eyes going distant again.

“Little witch? You still with us?” Captain Reynolds demanded, leaning forward to cross his arms on the table top.

“Yes, Captain.”

“You said you all _had_ short range trackers.”

“Yes, Captain. _Had._ Simon removed mine before…before I slept. Before the box.”

“And Rey?”

“Cut hers out, before she escaped.”

Finn’s eyes widened. He recalled Rey bleeding from various cuts and scrapes when she found him in a corridor at the end of his shift. He’d assumed they were injuries from surgeries or training or breaking out of her room. He’d been waiting on an extraction plan from his people, and Rey had just come up to him in the corridor, dressed in a hospital gown and scrub pants, no shoes, grabbed his arm, and hissed that this was the only chance to get her out.

She shouldn’t have known that. Unless she had…plucked it from his mind. He hadn’t _really_ allowed himself to believe what he’d been told until that moment.

Psychic assassins…he shook his head, part of him wishing he still couldn’t believe it.

_One chance. This is it, the only moment. She’s not as smart as Kendra…no RIVER_ … _can’t calculate the probability to ten decimal places, but she has other skills, other advantages._

_Kylo is…away._

_Somewhere._

_Again._

_The doctors say she’s almost ready. They’ve scheduled the final surgeries for the next week. Tomorrow they’ll dope her and lock her up and she won’t, she can’t, she has to go._

_The short range tracker was implanted months ago, during the first procedure. They’ve cut and scraped and burned away enough now, they think. Doctor Snoke signs off on the orders._

_Behavioral modification chip. Implant at base of spine._

**_Protect your spine._ **

_Kira stopped eating the peas. Or the oatmeal. She doesn’t drink the juice._

_No. More. Drugs._

_There’s a not-guard. Sneaky sneak. He wants to help, she knows he does—it radiates from him, the desire to SAVE HER. Even if he didn’t, she would make him._

_There is no choice._

Rey watched from outside the infirmary as the doctor worked. The short range tracker had been easily removed, but once they were alone, just the three of them, Ben had told Simon about the behavioral modification chip. Snoke had refused to take any more chances once Rey had escaped, refused to risk losing the last of his _toys._

“It’s wired into the base of his spine. The blue hands, they don’t need to be close, don’t need to bring the box to him. It sends a signal, bounces it off satellites, nearly as long range as the tracker.”

The crew stared at River in horror. She’d reminded them of the hospital job, the one where Jayne tried to turn the Tams over to the Feds, to the Alliance. The two men, the ones who came after her and were willing to kill so many just to keep their secret and take her back, the device they had carried had a finite range. Based on what she’d just told them, paired with the chip it could (on a delay) in theory reach from any Core world to the Outer Rim, and only affect the intended target.

“It’s getting all tangled in my head,” River said, staring down where her hand remained linked with Jayne’s, the fingers of her free hand moving to trace over his fingers and the back of his hand. “What you need to know, what _he_ needs to know,” she said, pointing in Finn’s direction, “Is that the man in the infirmary with Simon, the one you only know as Kylo Ren, his name is Ben.”

“Right, heard Rey call him that when he surrendered like,” the Captain said, voice strained even though he tried to mask his impatience. Girl was tryin’ somethin’ fierce to explain so they could all understand.

“Ben _Solo._ ”

Zoe and Mal started cursing in a combination of English and Mandarin as Finn stared at her, jaw hanging open in shock. Mal stood, pacing a circle before leaning on the table and pointing at Finn. “Call your people. _Now._ ”

They set him up on the Cortex in the bridge again, River in the pilot’s chair (wasn’t hers, would never be hers, but she could fly for the leaf on the wind). Mal and Zoe hung back, where they wouldn’t be seen on the other end of the wave connection unless they wanted to. Inara had relieved Jayne of baby holding duty and taken Hope back to the shuttle. Jayne and Kaylee crowded the doorway, not wanting to miss anything.

The wave was answered by a pretty blonde with her hair up in two buns (a style River knew Kaylee loved and secretly thought of as teddy bear buns). She was formal, professional, but her relief at seeing Finn was evident. “Kaydel, I need to speak to the General, it’s urgent.”

Before Kaydel could even answer, another figure leaned in, nudging her out of frame. The man was handsome in a rugged (though not quite so much as Jayne) and roguish way. If Kaydel’s relief had been evident, his was palpable. “Finn! What’s—where—how did you—I can’t—” he sputtered, seeming to grow increasingly panicked.

“It’s fine, Poe, I’m fine, and I’m safe for now.”

“But your last transmission—they told me you said Kylo Ren was after you, that he was almost there.”

“Yeah, about that, I _really_ need you to get me to the General on a secure connection.”

“But, are you…okay, okay, hang on.” Poe seemed to get control of himself, one instant a frazzled man operating solely on worry and fear and the next smooth and collected as he reached out for some controls out of frame. The connection went black then opened again, an older woman’s face coming into view. She was serious, stern even, but there was something about her eyes, a kindness and a hint of contagious joy, that put River instantly at ease.

“Finn! You had us all worried!”

“Sorry about that, ma’am, things have been a bit hectic on my end.”

“So I see,” she said, eyes locked on River as the pilot leaned in over Finn’s shoulder. “River Tam,” the woman said, offering a respectful nod.

“General Organa.”

The two women studied one another over their cortex screens. “Do you know each other?” Finn queried, seeming confused.

“Only by reputation,” the General said, seeming almost amused. “You know Poe and Snap handled her extraction, got her brother in and both of them out.” Finn nodded, seemingly trying very hard not to say something else but for the moment she ignored him, attention only on River. Unlike Finn, the General seemed to have a question she was _afraid_ to ask.

“He’s alive, General,” River said. “Perhaps not whole, and no more unharmed than I am, but he’s alive and he’s here with us. On _Serenity.”_

The General sucked in a breath, something in her face tightening for a moment. Mal sighed and he and Zoe stepped into view. “What’d you go an’ tell her that for, River?” the Captain said, verging on a whine. River just rolled her eyes and ignored him.

There was a long silence, tension mounting on both sides of the transmission. Even Finn began shifting uncomfortably, just sensing the rising emotions around him. River winced, rubbed at the bridge of her nose.

“Ma’am,” Zoe said, breaking the silence.

“Corporal,” the General returned. There was an edge to the word, as if she were saying far more.

“Ain’t a soldier anymore, ma’am.”

“Aren’t you, though?” It was a shrewd question, and Zoe looked away first, but the General continued on as if the moment hadn’t happened. “Zoe, then. You’re looking well, all things considered.” The General’s tone was almost gentle sounding. Zoe didn’t seem surprised that this woman seemed to know all the details of her life, but Finn was. He knew there was a lot of intelligence he hadn’t been briefed on at his clearance level, but…

General Organa turned her attention to Mal. “Sergeant Reynolds.”

“Like Zoe said, ain’t a soldier no more, Leia.”

That brought the flash of a grin across the woman’s face. “Very well then, _Malcolm._ You should know we got to your man in time, on Haven. Med crew’s working to save him but he’s lost a lot of blood. Not as much as if the blade had pierced any major blood vessels, and I’ve been informed the blow missed nearly everything vital, even being run through with his own gorram sword.”

“Fighting hard, even then without his Balance. **It was like the cows that weren’t until they saw the sky and remembered**.” River’s voice was going all soft and sing-song.

“O-kay…” Mal drew the word out and trailed off, blinking at River.

River scrubbed at her face with her fists. “All fuzzy. He’s projecting,” the mumbled.

“Babydoll? You alright?” The mercenary stalked through the bridge, brushing by the Captain and ignoring the woman on the screen.

“Jayne!” She cried brightly, dissolving into giggles. “It’s all freckles and butterflies,” she continued, dragging her hand down his chest with a dopey grin.

He put a hand on her face and she sucked in a breath. “Ben. It’s Ben. Simon had to dope him and he’s projecting,” she said in a rush and then, much more slowly and slurring her words a bit, “I think I need to lie down,” before promptly slumping in the pilot’s chair, out cold.

“Jayne, mayhap it’s best you take her to Simon.”

“May not be no top three percent, but even I knew that much,” Jayne grumbled, lifting his girl into his arms and carrying her out.

“Well, that was certainly an entertaining interlude,” Leia said. “Now, about my son…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hang in there, Reylos, Ben and Rey will begin to feature much more heavily soon, but there are still a few things to get in order first.
> 
> [VBG playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lzjrok3gYxeHU2sdAyxg5?si=I2y6vJj2QNOoITG8RrjxTQ)


	6. Balance of Two, Divide by Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon shares his findings, and the psychics wake up.
> 
> _Rey gasped, lurching forward, sure she’d be sick, but there was nothing but phantom pain. She looked across the room, eyes on Ben. He was moving now, little twitches in his hands, eyelids fluttering._   
>  _“He didn’t die,” River said, also watching him. She turned to Rey. “It made Niska angry. He only likes it when they die, when the pain is so bad the body just shuts down. Then he can bring them back and do it again.”_   
>  _Rey swallowed hard. “Because of me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As in previous chapters, bolded text is quoted or directly referenced from Firefly, Serenity, or The R. Tam Sessions

“We got enough fuel for full burn?”

Kaylee blinked at the captain. “I…I don’t know, Cap’n. I think so but…well, I ain’t River, and with the extra weight…I can’t be sure.”

“Best guess, lil Kaylee, that’s all I’m askin’ for.”

“Like I said, I think we do, but I can’t be sure.”

Mal nodded, staring at the floor as he thought about it before turning for the door out of the engine room. He paused in the doorway, glancing back over his shoulder. “Keep me updated.” Kaylee nodded, too quiet. “She’ll be fine, Kaylee. Doc’s just gotta keep her out a little longer.” She glanced up at him, forced a wavery smile. He left before he had to see her cry again.

Three days…three gorram days since River had passed out in the pilot’s seat. Jayne had taken her to Simon, and found Rey crumpled outside the med-bay. Doc hadn’t found anything wrong with them, but when one and then the other woke up screaming and lashing out, they’d had to be doped again, kept under.

Because Ben Solo was _projecting_ at them. That had been the word River had used, just before she was out the first time.

And even worse, it had all been for nothing. Doc couldn’t remove the ‘behavioral modification chip’ because the gorram thing was wired in, woven into Ben’s spinal column like some spider’s web. He’d managed to muck it up a bit, maybe deactivate it, but…

“I can’t do it,” Simon said, voice low.

“What the gorram hell you mean, _can’t do it_?”

“Exactly what I said, Captain. Can’t. As in ‘cannot,’ meaning I am unable to do so. Not with the equipment on hand, and definitely not in the black. To even attempt it again would risk paralyzing him at the very least, possibly killing him depending on how and where the wires go.”

“Can they still track it?”

“I don’t _think_ so, not without being extremely close now that the tracker chips have been removed and destroyed. I believe it’s damaged, from the attempt to remove the device. Captain, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.” The doctor looked away, almost haunted. “It looks like…the closest I can come to describing it…the torture device that Adelai Niska had, that he used on you, this _thing_ is like a tiny version of that device, but… _more_ effective.”

Mal felt himself pale. “They were going to put that in your _sister_? In Rey? And they actually did it to him?” Simon nodded weakly. “Doc, I need you to talk to someone.”

“I shouldn’t leave the infirmary.”

“Doc—Simon, I ain’t askin’ like.” He clapped a hand on the younger man’s shoulder, practically dragging him to the bridge. “Jayne! You call out iff’n anything changes.”

The mercenary nodded from his seat in the infirmary, next to River.

_“Tell me, Kylo Ren, are you familiar with the teachings of Shan Yu?”_

_He looks to Snoke, unsure where the doctor is going with this. “I am.”_

**_“Live with a man 40 years.”_ ** _The voice is new, a well-dressed, elderly man with round glasses and an accent Kylo doesn’t recognize._

 **_“Share his house, his meals. Speak on every subject.”_ ** _He steps around Snoke, strolling casually down the steps from the dais._

 **_“Then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge.”_ ** _He reaches the glossy, black floor, maintaining his sedate pace and approaching Kylo with his hands behind his back._

**_“And on that day, you will finally meet the man.”_ **

_Kylo doesn’t like him. He’s accustomed to being unable to get a read on Snoke, to being blocked from all but only the faintest, fuzzy impressions but this man…this man is a void._

_“I am pleased with your progress thus far,” Snoke intones, blue gloved hands stroking idly at the device on the table. “You will go with Mr. Niska. It is time to complete your training.”_

_Kylo has never had a premonition before. Not even Kendra can actually divine the future, even if she does get “feelings” sometimes, seem to know things that will happen. That’s just all Reading and probability. He thinks so, anyway. None of them have_ visions _._

_Nevertheless, a chill runs through him, and pain pulses in his chest and at the base of his spine, as if something is tunneling through him, intent on setting every nerve aflame in agony. He shouldn’t go with this man._

_He can’t refuse._

_Kylo turns and follows Niska without a word._

River woke with a gasp, biting back the scream trying to rip its way from her throat. She hadn’t known… _why hadn’t she known?_ Niska and Snoke, working together. It made a sick kind of sense. She glanced over, eyes locked on Ben. It was getting better, now. He wasn’t shoving his memories at her anymore. He’d wake soon. She turned to Jayne, watching her silently. She offered him a smile, weak and small, but still a smile. He reached for her hand as soon as she held hers out, wrapping his fingers around hers, thumb stroking soothingly over the back of her hand.

He didn’t speak, didn’t make her either, just held her hand and waited for her to gather her thoughts.

He did seem slightly surprised when she finally did break the silence, asking the question weighing on her most heavily. “Jayne? Where did the extra beds come from?” He laughed as she looked around the room in confusion. Ben was to her right, strapped facedown on the main bed in the med bay. River was beside him, and Rey on her left.

Jayne stood up from his rickety chair and kissed her. “My little genius girl. Always knows when something’s off.” He stroked the knuckles of one hand over her cheek and stood. “Passenger dorms. Cap’n and your brother had me tear down the beds, and lil Kaylee rigged up new frames from scrap, so’s we could get all three o’ you in here.”

River’s face fell. “The girl should have thought of that, months ago.”

“Aw, now, _baobei_ ain’t no need for that. Ain’t never needed more’n the two, not even as often as Mal gets hisself shot. Reckon you woulda thought of it first, iff’n we had.”

Rey sat up with a groan, clutching at the back of her head. “Oh, Maker, what hit me?”

“Floor, most likely. Found you outside there,” Jayne said, nodding to one of the far windows. Rey groaned again, wincing as her fingers moved across the tender spot on the back of her head.

“He…it was…” Rey shook her head, unable yet to voice what she needed to. River nodded in understanding, reaching out a hand. Rey took it with a grateful squeeze as she fought off the tears threatening to fall at any moment.

Jayne gave the women a look and abruptly stood. “Gotta fetch Mal and the doc.” He was gone almost before the sound of his voice faded from the recycled air, aiming to escape before Rey really did cry.

“I’d like to connect you with our medical staff here, Doctor Tam. Even if this… _device_ really can’t be removed, it can’t hurt to share information.”

Simon stared at the image in the screen. General Organa looked like she’d aged over a decade since he’d last seen her, less than five years ago. “Very well,” he said, voice even, careful.

“Doctor Tam, have I done something to offend you?”

“With all due respect, ma’am, I’m not inclined to trust you. Clearly, you knew far more about the Academy than I was led to believe. You knew the kind of dangers River was facing, still faces, and you used me as a test run. I understand it was for your son’s sake, but River is my little sister. Ben Solo is nothing to me.” He paused, jaw tensing as he fought not to say the things bubbling up inside him, not continuing until he had control over his emotions once again. “I will meet with your medical staff when we arrive, and I will transmit my notes so far. But right now, I have patients who require my full attention.”

He stood up and walked away, the woman on the screen and Captain Reynolds watching him with no small amount of well-concealed (if grudging) respect.

Simon ran into Jayne—literally—as he left the bridge. The larger man steadied him. “Okay there, Doc?”

“Pardon me, Jayne. I should have been watching where I was going.”

“River an’ Rey woke up. Solo’s still under.”

“Thank you, Jayne. I’ll go check on them.”

The merc crossed his arms, blocking the way as he studied the doctor. “Ain’t seen you this pissed off in a right long while, Doc. I’m thinkin’ you need to work out some aggression ‘fore you do _anything_ else.”

“I’ll take that into consideration. Please step aside.”

“Yeah, no. Ain’t gonna let this one go, Doc. You’re wound tighter ‘n…well, don’t right know how to finish that. Usually I’d say tighter n’ Simon’s ass but...anyway.” He made a vague gesture, one hand dropping on Simon’s shoulder and half-dragging him along. Jayne ignored Simon’s protests, pulling and shoving until he got him into the bay.

He’d never seen Doc fight, not really, but he figured Simon needed punch somethin’ or someone, needed it badly, and mostly because of River but partly because he’d come to respect Simon too, Jayne decided to volunteer himself.

Didn’t expect the doc would be landing many punches anyway, so he was surprised at the level of skill the doctor showed.

“Gorram, Doc, I’m impressed. Didn’t think you knowed nothin’ ‘bout proper fighting.” He dodged another punch, swung lightly, surprised again when he couldn’t get past the other man’s guard with that one final punch.

“That’s just it,” Simon said as they wound down, pausing for water, “I only know _proper_ fighting techniques. Gentlemanly boxing, or competition style martial arts, fighting with specifically set rules and boundaries. I…my brain can’t translate that to…what you can do.”

“Why Doc, I’m touched, that was almost a compliment.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Simon said, turning to pick up his shirt and waistcoat from where he’d folded them on the weight bench. He paused with the material in his hands, turned back to Jayne. “I trust you, Jayne, with all of our lives, with River. And I…appreciate what you’ve done here today. You were…you were right. I was too angry to properly do my job.”

Jayne watched silently, returning Simon’s stiff nod of acknowledgement as the doctor headed for the stairs to the catwalk, intent on cleaning up and returning to his doctoring duties.

_He’s gone. He’s gone but she can FEEL him and wherever he is, whatever they’re doing to him, it HURTS._

_She can’t even scream anymore; her throat is too raw. The pain, it’s centered around her solar plexus but it…radiates. It’s like something is burrowing in, tunneling along under her skin. It burns but that isn’t even the right word. Nothing is the right word. Words like hurt and pain and throb are too weak, too dull._

_Kendra holds her through the worst of it, whispering fanciful tales of dragons and towers and spiders and…cheese?_

_No, that can’t be right._

_It’s one of the quiet moments, when she can’t help but whimper at their shared pain, but the whimpering hurts too._

_She misses Kylo. She NEEDS him. Needs to know he’s whole. He’s alive, he hurts too much not to be, but she isn’t even sure HOW he’s survived so much._

_The pain starts again and this time everything turns black._

Rey gasped, lurching forward, sure she’d be sick, but there was nothing but phantom pain. She looked across the room, eyes on Ben. He was moving now, little twitches in his hands, eyelids fluttering.

“He didn’t die,” River said, also watching him. She turned to Rey. “It made Niska angry. He only likes it when they die, when the pain is so bad the body just shuts down. Then he can bring them back and do it again.”

Rey swallowed hard. “Because of me.”

River nodded, both of them turning back to watch Ben as drugged unconsciousness shifted into a restless sort of sleep. “Violence shared was violence halved. An anomaly. Unexpected. Snoke was displeased, at first. Then he realized…it meant you could both withstand more, if you had the Balance of two. That was when he tried to divide by three, but it didn’t work. A dyad is stable. Triad wouldn’t flow. Sensation and pain rebounded, made it exponentially higher when the bond was broken. Balance must be even. Two by two, hands of blue…”

Rey wasn’t sure she understood everything River said. It was likely _River_ was the only one in the ‘verse who could understand everything River said. But she grasped enough of it. “He’s waking up,” Rey said.

River nodded. “Simon will be here soon. Jayne took him dancing.”

Ben groaned, shifting minutely, moving what he could a fraction of an inch at a time. Everything _hurt_ , a low ache throughout his body, radiating from his back. “He couldn’t remove it.”

“No. Too complicated, too risky. Need better equipment, solid ground,” River said. Ben nodded and closed his eyes again.

“Expected that, but it sucks.”

Rey reached out, took his hand and laced their fingers together as River began removing the straps that kept him from thrashing about or falling while he was under. “Don’t move, yet,” River said. “Simon will be cross.”

“Not planning on it, Little Mouse.” He opened his eyes then, smiling softly at Rey while River removed the last of the restraints. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

His thumb brushed over her fingers and he winced as the motion echoed down the nerves in his back.

“It’s still active,” Rey said, brow wrinkled. “Damaged.”

“Apparently,” he muttered. Rey slipped her hand gently out of his and moved to stand closer to his waist, one hand hovering over the base of his spine, above the bandages covering the incision.

River watched in fascination as Rey’s fingers began to tremble and the lights around them flickered. The hair on River’s arms stood up as the atmosphere in the infirmary became charged. She flung out an arm, catching Simon as he entered. Sparks jumped from her hand to his forearm as she grabbed him.

“What are you doing? Don’t!”

“Simon, stop. It’s okay. She can do this.”

“Do what? River, he can’t be moved at all. If that…thing shifts even a little bit…”

“I know. But it’s still active, still hurting him. We have to short it out, break it.”

“Wha-? River, I don’t…”

“Psychic assassins, remember?”

She watched him, saw him fighting the desire—the _need_ —to argue with her.

A buzzing sound punctuated by a pop plunged the infirmary into darkness, as the lights all blew. Ben grunted, fists clenching, and Rey stumbled back against the closest bed, the one River had been in for the past three days.

“I think,” she gasped, “I think I got it.”

“You think? You didn’t even know if it would work?” Simon stormed over, grabbing for equipment with the aid of a small penlight. He kept the infirmary organized enough that he probably didn’t even need the light to find what he was looking for. He bit back any further commentary, forcing himself to focus on his patient.

Rey ignored him, her hand flexing over and over, mumbling to herself. “River, read me, can you see it?”

She focused, grasping for Rey’s mind. “I, yes, I think so. We need a pen, paper…I have to write it down.”

She froze for a moment, fighting for control.

 ** _Can’t tell. I’ll have to write it down_**.

NO. No, she was River Tam, and she wasn’t there anymore.

**_No power in the ‘verse can stop me._ **

_A mission. She had a mission to comp—_

Rey’s hand cracked across her face, twice, and River gasped for air, shaking. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Any time. Now, let’s go find…a writing implement.”

River led her out of the infirmary, headed for the bunk she shared with Jayne. Her art supplies were there. Pencils, pastels. Plenty of paper. They were going to need it.

Dimly she realized only the emergency lights were on. Rey seemed to pick up on it as well. “Oops…guess I went too hard.”

River giggled, unsure why it was funny, and opened the hatch, leading Rey down the ladder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [VBG playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lzjrok3gYxeHU2sdAyxg5?si=I2y6vJj2QNOoITG8RrjxTQ)
> 
> I feel like I've neglected these poor babies. This one WAS writing very quickly but I guess introducing more actual plot and bringing everyone together is stalling me a bit.


	7. Shadow to Their Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they near General Organa's base of operations, River needs to hit someone, Ben and Rey learn something River had previously hidden from them, and Simon broods.
> 
>  _He made a face. “Can you not call it that, please? I wasn’t_ dancing _with your—with Jayne.”_  
>  _She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what I call it. Intent remains the same. But you’re not angry and violent, Simon.”_  
>  _“No, that would be me.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, so long since an update. I was focused on finishing the Field Goal trilogy and then when that was done I had a bit of writing burn out and only managed partial chapters and one-shots, but here we are at long last.

It took Kaylee, River, and Rey nearly two hours to restore the power. It likely wouldn’t have been so long if Mal hadn’t followed them around demanding to know what happened and how they planned to fix it rather than doing something more constructive like _helping_ _them_ or _leaving them alone_.

By the time it was done, Simon had determined that when the device in Ben’s back had shorted out, it had not only deactivated but somehow automatically retracted the wires—without damaging the nerves attached. With the lights back on, the doctor was able to remove it with only a local anesthetic and as far as he could tell with the equipment available to him on _Serenity_ , there would be no lasting effects other than the small incision scar from the initial implantation and the two removal attempts. A dermal mender could get rid of the removal ones, but the original one had gone too long.

Ben didn’t seem concerned about scarring. “What’s one more?” he said, indicating the various scars littering his body, including one on his torso from Niska’s device and a long one down his face that had apparently come from training. That one he seemed to be rather proud of. “Rey did it,” he said with a soft smile. “It was her first time besting me on the mats.”

Simon was confused, but then he was confused by all of the fighters around him. Jayne and Ben wore their scars with pride, proof they had survived. River and Rey seemed to forget they even had scars.

The captain…well, his reaction depended on what kind of mood he was in and whether they’d completed the job and gotten paid.

Zoe really only had the long one down her spine, from the Reaver blade that caught her after…after Wash. She hadn’t wanted it healed. Simon had suspected it was more about being one of her only outward reminders of the pain of that day, of losing her husband.

They were puzzles, all of them.

When Kaylee suggested snacks after they managed to successfully restore _Serenity’s_ power, Rey agreed quickly, and even River decided that wasn’t the worst plan ever. Unfortunately, Mal still wanted to know what was happening and River…was not ready to tell him. Knowing she was a Reader, and that Ben and Rey were psychics as well, was one thing. Getting into the details of each of their strongest talents was…more difficult and not currently helpful.

The Captain had already tried with Kaylee, who had only been able to tell him there was a power surge of some sort. Rey had blinked at him and told him the lights went out. So, he turned his attention to his pilot. River huffed and actually stamped her foot as Mal followed them into the mess. “River, what the gorram hell happened to my boat?”

“Kaylee told you, power surge,” she mumbled, studying the pantry shelves.

“Yeah, reckon I got that the first two times. What I want to know is _why_?”

“Something overloaded the circuits,” River snapped, refusing to look at him. His irritation was bleeding over, prickling at her like thousands of insects biting her skin. Already overwrought and exhausted, she chose not to fight it off, embracing the captain’s growing anger, pulling it close and tight until it was her own.

“Lil’ witch—”

“No! Stop asking me things you don’t want to know!” She pushed past him, the heavy clomp of her boots echoing behind her.

Rey reached down, helping the captain up from where he’d fallen. River hadn’t actually pushed him all that hard, but the shock of her actually shoving past him had been enough that he had stumbled and overcorrected, sitting down hard on the metal paneling of the floor.

_She can feel them, the echoes of their every move as they dance. She is the shadow to their soul, one step behind as they move._

_The crashes resound, every knock of sword or staff echoes in her soul._

_But it’s more than the dance, than their fight **.**_

_They are inside her. Wiggly worms eating through her brain. Kylo. Kira. Wiggle and squirm and eat eat eat and it HURTS and it doesn’t ever STOP._

_She protects her spine while they lay bare their hearts._

_THUMPThump_

_THUMPThump_

_Crash._

_Skip._

_Twist._

_Searing pain in the burn._

_The wood cuts like a honed blade._

_He is proud, proud of Kira and violence wrought, shared between them._

_They don’t know yet that the Kendra-River shares it too and she DOESN’T want but she yearns because they do, washes away in the flood of their tide._

_His face bleeds._

_It will scar._

_She hides until the fire burns low, basks in the glow of their embers and there is no room for shame._

_She won’t tell can’t tell never tell._

_But she feels and it’s not right._

**_“It isn’t mine. The memory. I shouldn’t have to carry it.”_ **

BenKyloBEN looked at Dr. Tam but he couldn’t see for the flood of River headed his way. He hadn’t known, hadn’t realized she couldn’t keep them out, had been dragged along in the rush of dancing and blood and those first, fevered kisses the day Rey split his face open with a wooden staff.

Ben interrupted whatever the doctor was saying. “It’s sealed, right? You said the wound is sealed.”

Simon made a face, gave a nod. “On the surface, yes, but strenuous activity may open it back up, cause further injury and scarring—”

“Doesn’t matter, your sister needs to hit someone.”

Ben spun on his heel, leaving the sputtering doctor to follow—or not.

River was projecting, her distress bleeding out through the boat. He felt Rey coming closer, steps light and quick as they both followed the cry of River’s energy to the cargo bay. Ben reached her first, striking without preamble. Her training kicked in, and they were suddenly a whirling, spinning flurry of limbs. He was faster, stronger, and nearly double her weight—all of it muscle, but he was injured and River…she was spoiling for a fight.

Anger, rage, frustration, all of it boiled there on the surface, but underneath was so much more. She was hurt that the captain didn’t trust her, terrified of putting this crew—her family—in danger again, and most of all was a cold resignation that she was going to lose control again, that there would be only a weapon in place of the girl.

She was afraid _she_ would be the one to hurt them all.

“ _You won’t._ ” River stumbled and spun to face Rey, teeth bared and lip bloodied from a punch Ben had failed to pull quickly enough. The distraction was enough for Ben to get a hold on River, arms wrapping around her and pinning her hands to her sides, his grip banded steel. She panted and went still in his hold. He couldn’t quite read her thoughts, that was _her_ strength, but Rey could pick up her emotions and she was broadcasting that along the connection she shared with Ben.

River tensed and he suspected she was going to kick Rey in the face while simultaneously head-butting him. After all, she’d done it before, besting them both in a demonstration before members of Parliament.

“We won’t let you, little mouse,” he said softly. “I’ll kill you first myself.”

The tension in her muscles had her vibrating in his arms. “Do you promise?”

“I do,” he said, solemn and serious.

“And who stops me from killing you first?”

“I do,” Rey said, stepping in close enough that even if River was able to kick her, she wouldn’t have the leverage or force necessary to actually harm her. River went limp, relief palpable, and Ben eased her slowly to the ground, not loosening his hold in case it was a trick.

“Wise move,” River said, “but I only want to dance. You broke through.”

He laughed and let her go, and the three of them circled one another before all flying into action in the same instant.

Mal leaned on the railing of the catwalk, watching the three assassins as they spun and leapt, hands and feet flying. It really did look like a well-choreographed dance. Simon stood beside him, muttering about idiot fighters and reopened injuries, but his voice was colored by gratitude and a grudging respect. A sound caught Mal’s attention and he turned his focus back to the sparring match in the cargo bay.

Laughter.

They were laughing, all three of them, as they beat the tar out of one another. He shook his head, telling himself that strange feeling wasn’t jealousy as the three moved smoothly around the sleek ship Ben had arrived in, partially dismantled to get it into the cargo space.

As they circled back around, River taunting her opponents, Jayne seemed to come out of nowhere, carrying a stack of towels and an armful of waters down the stairs. The mercenary didn’t try to jump in, and he didn’t interrupt, just found a seat on a crate and waited.

Soon enough the trio came to a halt, not a word spoken between them and yet all stopping at the same moment and walking over to join Jayne where he sat, drawing the blade of a knife over a whetstone. Simon sighed and muttered something about going to get his bag before stepping away.

“It’s not the same.”

Simon jumped and turned. He hadn’t heard River come in. “What’s not the same, River?”

“You. Me. The fighting.”

He stiffened and turned back to the notes he’d been making about the device he had removed from Ben’s back. “I’m certain I don’t know what you’re referring to,” he said, eyes not moving from his work. He heard his little sister sigh behind him.

“I know better, Simon. Reader, remember?” She had padded silently up to him, and hopped up onto the counter, bare feet swinging beneath the long skirt of her dress. Ah. That explained why he hadn’t heard her. No boots.

“Didn’t you promise Jayne you’d stop going barefoot?”

River rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored the question. “It’s not the same, Simon, it isn’t. You didn’t…you don’t enjoy it, the way I do. It was only about the fastest way to release tension without actually hurting anyone, when Jayne took you dancing.”

He made a face. “Can you not call it that, please? I wasn’t _dancing_ with your—with Jayne.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what I call it. Intent remains the same. But you’re not angry and violent, Simon.”

“No, that would be me.”

Simon stiffened, collecting himself before turning slowly to face Ben in the doorway. The man was leaning casually, arms crossed and something that may have almost been a smile on his face. Rey stood beside him, her expression bland—peaceful, even. The doctor’s eyes flicked from River’s bare feet to their soft-soled boots. “We learned to move quietly, or else,” Ben said, straightening and moving away from the wall, crossing the room and leaning against one of the beds.

“The hunter will not catch his prey if it hears him coming,” River said softly, the sing-song quality of her voice sending a thrill of fear zinging up her brother’s spine. Ben cocked his head to one side, studying her a moment before apparently coming to some decision and nodding to himself before turning his attention back to Simon.

“You’ve been brooding for almost three days,” Ben said. “It’s giving Rey a headache, and it makes your sister edgy. I don’t like when they’re uncomfortable. It makes me prickly. So how do we help convince you that this isn’t some inherent character flaw, and you aren’t a violent person?”

Simon stared at him, for once at a complete loss for any answer whatsoever. Rey offered him a small smile. River came up beside him, placing a hand on his arm for a moment before leading the other two from the room. Simon watched them go and shook his head. Strangely, whatever that was really had helped.

It was another three hours before they touched down on the moon that was the current home to General Organa’s resistance group. The place seemed deserted at first, although Jayne and the three assassins kept their attention trained on specific areas almost as if they had discussed it. Maybe they had. Or maybe the three psychics were picking up on something and Jayne was just that paranoid.

Because Mal couldn’t quite bring himself to admit that the man was the best damn tracker in the ‘verse, even if it did happen to be true. River smirked at the captain over her shoulder and he sighed, wondering what it would cost him for her not to tell Jayne.

His attention snapped back to the meeting as a rumbling sounded and a set of doors slid open where there had appeared to be only solid, dusty rock a moment before. A group of people—soldiers, really—tried to seem casual as they strode forward.

One of them opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out River and Rey had stepped in front of Ben, glaring. “You will not,” Rey growled.

“No blindfolds, and drop the cuffs,” River ordered.

“It’s just a precaution,” the man started, only to be interrupted by Jayne, Mal, and Zoe all leveling weapons at him, which of course resulted in his people all drawing down on Mal and his group.

“Let’s not be hasty,” Finn said, stepping out between the two groups, arms in front of him and palms down. Some tension drained out of the man from the general’s group.

“Good to see you again, too, Poe,” Ben said over Rey’s head.

“Ben…assuming that’s who you are,” the man—Poe Dameron, that was him, the man from that first wave—said.

“We can leave again,” Mal said. “Lil Kaylee, you go on and fire up those engines,” he shouted over his shoulder, knowing Kaylee and Simon were out of sight but within hearing distance of the open bay doors. It was only a moment before the engines roared to life, lighting up the night around them.

A short female figure and a taller man appeared in the shadowy doorway. “Stand down, Dameron,” General Organa ordered. “Get those weapons pointed away from my son.”

Mal nearly laughed out loud as half the small group of soldiers dropped their weapons and babbled apologies while the others—including Poe—actually tried arguing with her. For her part, Leia ignored them, striding forward with purpose, eyes locked on the tall man behind River and Rey. It almost looked as if the two younger women weren’t going to let her near him, but at the last moment they each moved half a step to either side.

“Ben.”

Ben swallowed and blinked a few times.

“Hi, Mom. Sorry I’m late.”


	8. Leave No Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia drags Ben off and Mal meets Han Solo for the first time, despite serving under the man's wife in the war. 
> 
> _“Haven’t seen a Firefly in years,” Han said, angling his head towards Mal’s boat as the engines continued to whine. “Never actually been inside one. Heard tell they have more storage compartments than the Millennium Falcon.”  
>  “Ain’t never been on the Falcon as to know, but Serenity here, she gets the job done, gets us where we need to go, and often as not we got food and air and fuel to keep going.” Mal turned and began walking, Han falling into step beside him. “Since my pilot done run off, I guess I’ll have to move her myself.”  
> “Well I suppose I may just tag along, see if all I’ve heard about a Firefly is really true.”  
> Zoe followed the pair, shaking her head. It was never good when Mal made a new friend. Usually ended in him getting shot. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update, but kind of exposition heavy (and yet I may be leaving you with more questions than answers...sorry about that in advance).
> 
> Again, I tried to **Bold** any direct references or quotes from Firefly/Serenity but I may have missed some.

General Leia Organa (the Solo was silent) embraced her son, tugging him down to her and whispering something that made him hold her back more tightly, before smacking him twice in the chest, wagging a finger in his face as she hissed something only River and Rey were close enough to hear, then grabbed him by the ear and began walking back inside the base.

“Ow! Mom, I—ouch!” was punctuated by her angry murmurs as he followed along, bent nearly in half and stumbling every few steps.

Rey shook her head and followed, River wandering up behind her and looping an arm through hers companionably. The rest of the assemblage watched the three women and the fearsome Kylo Ren go, in varying stages of shock and amusement before beginning introductions and making arrangements to hide _Serenity_ from any possible Alliance patrols or security scans. An argument broke out between Poe Dameron, Captain Reynolds, Zoe, and Han Solo about how best to go about that, settled when Han took Mal’s side and got in Poe’s face, insisting that “This man and his crew will be given the same level of respect you give the General. _Serenity_ can go in the bay with the _Falcon._ ” Poe hadn’t been able to form a response and after a moment simply turned to his people and barked out a series of orders, sending them scrambling in multiple directions.

Finn waited semi-patiently until that was done before approaching Poe, taking one of his hands, and leading him away, murmuring softly about the war, Browncoats, the battle of Serenity Valley, and the Miranda Broadwave.

Mal pretended to ignore the grudging look of respect Poe sent his way as Finn spoke, uncomfortable with what that look might mean. He turned his attention back to Han Solo, taking in the man’s nearly identical outfit (sans long brown coat, anyway) and wondering just how his life had managed to get him here, standing in front of a smuggling legend turned war hero respected by both sides.

“Haven’t seen a Firefly in years,” Han said, angling his head towards Mal’s boat as the engines continued to whine. “Never actually been inside one. Heard tell they have more storage compartments than the _Millennium Falcon_.”

“Ain’t never been on the _Falcon_ as to know, but _Serenity_ here, she gets the job done, gets us where we need to go, and often as not we got food and air and fuel to keep going.” Mal turned and began walking, Han falling into step beside him. “Since my pilot done run off, I guess I’ll have to move her myself.”

“Well I suppose I may just tag along, see if all I’ve heard about a Firefly is really true.”

Zoe followed the pair, shaking her head. It was never good when Mal made a new friend. Usually ended in him getting shot.

Leia didn’t let go of Ben’s ear until they reached her private quarters, door securely latched and locked behind them. Rey hovered close, almost but not quite touching Ben while River flitted around the room, bending low to look at bookshelves and leaning close to the wall to study framed captures hanging there. “It mostly worked,” River said, never interrupting her perusal of the room. 

“Pardon?” Leia blinked owlishly, freezing mid-motion with her arms out as she had been leaning in to hug her son again.

River straightened and turned around, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. “Your plan. It mostly worked. They’re less afraid of him now that they’ve seem his mommy drag him away by the ear.” The words seemed to physically throw the general off balance and she stumbled, only saved from a fall into the low coffee table by her son’s hands.

“I…I hadn’t realized…” Leia trailed off, looking back and forth between River, Rey, and Ben. She let Ben guide her to the sofa where she sat down weakly. “I knew, logically, that you all have… _abilities_ , but seeing them, _experiencing_ that, I wasn’t prepared.”

“No one ever is,” River said seriously, head tilted to one side as she studied Leia again, eyes flitting to Rey before darting back. “You’re handling it admirably well, and your mental defenses are impressive.”

Leia sat up, spine ramrod straight and eyes narrowed as she studied the Reader. Ben’s hand on her forearm tightened, and Rey shifted, as if she might jump in between River and Leia, but River simply gave the general a delighted smile and came closer, tugging her boots off and then curling her legs under her in the chair nearest Leia.

Rey glanced at the sofa, the one other chair, and Ben’s face, before settling on the arm of the couch and leaning on his shoulder. He visibly relaxed as soon as she was touching him again. River smiled again as Leia took it all in and shook her head. Words and thoughts and feelings and memories all tumbled about in the general’s mind, but for the moment, she simply held her son’s hand and looked at him, thankful he was with her and alive.

Jayne and Zoe stayed close to Mal, trailing him as he led Han through _Serenity_ , now safely tucked away on the opposite side of the hangar bay from the _Millennium Falcon_. The two of them were discussing features of the ship, particularly excited about speed, maneuverability, and storage capacity. Kaylee joined them and began excitedly contributing to their conversation, especially when the discussion turned to the engine. When they ended their tour, Kaylee squealed in excitement as Han gestured to the _Falcon_ with a grin. “Shall we? It seems only fair.” He held out his arm for Kaylee, grinning down at her as she peppered him with questions about his ship. Mal walked on Kaylee’s other side while Zoe and Jayne followed looking like bodyguards.

Simon followed behind them, his medical bag in hand. He’d taken the time to add his notes about the device he’d removed from Ben’s back, the information on Niska’s torture device, River’s sketches of both devices, and finally the images of River’s brain from the hospital on Ariel. The doctor still wasn’t sure how much information he should share with these people, and he wanted all the information safely within reach until he was sure what would and would not be safe.

Inara was waiting in her shuttle with Hope. It was the safest arrangement they could figure out without sending the Companion and toddler away with no protection (not that Inara was exactly helpless) or shorting the crew a gun hand. So far, the general’s people seemed to have no idea anyone else had been on _Serenity_ and while that couldn’t last indefinitely, they were waiting for confirmation from River that it would be at least somewhat safe for Hope.

Hope was Zoe’s daughter, but she was _Serenity’s_ baby, and there was no one on the crew who wouldn’t die—or fight and even kill—for her in a heartbeat. Even Kaylee had once threatened a drunken purple-belly with a wrench when he spoke harshly to the child for crying.

General Organa had commanded that any and all debriefing could wait for morning. She blocked off the officers’ dining hall (really just a fairly empty spare storage room with a long line of tables and folding chairs that wasn’t terribly far from the kitchen) for the night and ordered—er, _invited_ —the crew of _Serenity_ to join her for dinner. She tried to instate a rule that no discussion of psychics, assassins, the Academy, or Snoke would be allowed, but River just looked at her and sighed before shaking her head and muttering something about expecting better. Rey had squeezed Ben’s arm when he glanced down, unable to look at her.

Leia realized her mistake instantly, and grabbed his hand. “Ben, look at me, I didn’t mean…” she took a shaky breath and looked down. “I’m sorry, son. I just mean no shop talk. No military strategy at dinner.” She frowned. “You know how I get. I can assure you it hasn’t gotten better since that monster took you away from me.”

The general went quiet, thinking for a while, and River’s eyes widened as something seemed to click into place. She gasped but when Rey and Ben looked up at her she just shook her head, sending her dark hair flying. “No time to follow the white rabbit,” she muttered, and they seemed to accept that as explanation enough, although the general stared at her with narrowed eyes.

Before she could say anything, the door beeped and opened, and Han Solo led Mal and the rest of the crew into the suddenly too-small room. River met the captain’s eyes and gave a nod before slipping out of the room, Jayne close behind her.

They were assembled in the dining room when River returned, Inara and Hope behind her and Jayne following as rear-guard. The general stopped mid-sentence and stared from the companion to the child before turning to Mal and Zoe. “Care to explain yourselves?”

“Not particularly, ma’am,” Zoe said.

Mal gestured with his fork. “That there is Inara, she’s a Companion, and the little‘un is Hope.”

“I think you’re well aware I am referring to bringing undeclared crew into my base.”

“Ain’t crew,” Mal said. “Done said, she’s a Companion, contracted passenger, like. And it ain’t right to put babies to work.”

Han tried to cover his laugh with a fake cough as Leia rolled her eyes muttered about impossible men.

River took a seat across from Ben, Jayne beside her and across from Rey. Hope squirmed until Inara handed her off to River, and the girl settled in and stared at Ben for a moment before her face scrunched up and she made a growling noise at him. Her face smoothed out and then she did it again before clapping her hands and giggling.

“Not play time, tiny human,” River said. “Dinner first.”

Ben stared at Hope, fascinated. “She’s not afraid of me,” he said softly.

“Never was,” River said, gently moving her fork and knife farther from the tiny, grasping hands headed for them. “Knew you wouldn’t hurt her.”

Inara jerked in her seat and Zoe dropped her fork as they stared at River and Hope. The child grew bored of her game of reaching for the flatware and turned, stretching her arms out to Jayne. River handed her off smoothly and turned to Inara. “You’re wrong about him. You’re safer with him than with me. More stable, Balanced.” The companion turned her head stiffly away and reached for her water glass. It would have been a convincing act if her hand hadn’t trembled.

Zoe wasn’t faring much better, as if it were only now that the rushing torrents of fear and adrenaline were releasing their hold. “He tried to kill Ops, and he threatened all of us,” she practically hissed.

River took a bite of food from her fork, chewed carefully, and swallowed before answering. “Didn’t. Missed the most vital bits, fighting the hold.” She tilted her head to the side and stared straight at the First Mate. “Had to get to his Balance or we all would have died by now. War is ugly.” She took another bite. “Haven is gone. Blue Hands got there just after the med team got him off world. Nothing left now. They mean to finish this.”

“ **If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to.** ”

The clattering of silverware falling and the shattering of Kaylee’s water glass and Mal’s coffee cup rang out in the suddenly silent room as all three assassins recited back the words the former Operative had once said to Mal after ordering the slaughter of every known ally and contact of _Serenity_.

Jayne, Rey, and Hope shared the basket of bread between them as the room descended into chaos for the third time. River’s revelation that Snoke’s people had simply obliterated an entire moon had effectively ended any attempts at eating.

Leia had summoned Poe Dameron, Finn, Kaydel Ko Connix (the blonde who had answered Finn’s wave) and a few other people she trusted.

For two hours they simply argued back and forth about whether or not it would even be possible to completely destroy a planet or moon so quickly and yet somehow not have the rest of the ‘verse immediately aware, until the proof came up on the screens that had been dragged into the room. Where the seventh moon of Deadwood had once orbited was only emptiness and debris. “The others will shift,” River muttered. “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Then she giggled to herself, getting worried looks from about half the people in the room. She groaned and rubbed at her temples. “Too loud,” she muttered, cuddling in closer to Jayne where they sat in a corner. Rey and Ben weren’t far away, leaning together in much the same way.

_Too loud, always too loud. The silence is deafening and she is never alone._

_The voices come, flaming whisper-screams, and she can’t keep them out anymore._

_Kira whimpers in the corner, picking it all up from her. Kylo is gone, on a mission for Snoke, and they NEED him, but he isn’t here and it HURTS._

_Kendra hears and Kira feels and it’s all too much._

_The guards yell from the hallway and Kira jerks and flinches._

_She didn’t mean to. The Kendra-River knows she didn’t mean to, it was an accident, but when she takes her own turn it isn’t._

_A shout and a thump and one voice is gone and she sighs in relief. Kira blinks at her from the opposite corner._

_“The angry one?”_

_She tries to nod but it hurts too much._

_They should have listened when Kira warned them._

**_“Also, I can kill you with my brain.”_ **

_Sharing is caring and three will be one until they aren’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Operative needs a name, I think, but he hasn't told me what it is yet. I think he's still salty about the fact that I originally intended to kill him off. 
> 
> In another Firefly fic I started years ago I called him Darius Bell in reference to Derrial Book and a play on Bell, Book, and Candle...


	9. Darkness and Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and River can't sleep, Rey exhibits a new ability, and then she and Ben _reconnect_.
> 
> _Waking Ben woke Jayne, and the two men crowded barefoot and bare-chested into the suddenly too-small bathroom. Glancing between them, Rey realized with a start that Jayne was actually just a bit taller than Ben, though Ben was broader. She looked back at Ben, distracted at the sight of him, shirtless and sleep tousled and—_   
>  _“Is now really the time?” River grumbled. “This isn’t exactly comfortable.”_   
>  _Rey jerked and felt the heat rising in her face. “Sorry.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one short flashback in this chapter, and Ben and Rey have some alone time in the shower...I was not planning on writing that in this story at all but what can I say? They were insistent.
> 
> [VBG playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lzjrok3gYxeHU2sdAyxg5?si=I2y6vJj2QNOoITG8RrjxTQ)

Rey sighed and stared into the darkness. Ben was sleeping, at least, one arm locked around her waist and holding her against him, his face pressed against the back of her neck. Their legs were tangled and she was trapped by the weight of the meaty thigh he’d thrown over her calf. She was hot, baking in the heat that radiated from him. At least he’d finally kicked off the blanket.

There was just enough light seeping around the door that she could almost make out the other bunks in the room, all but one vacant. That one held River and Jayne, curled together in much the same way.

The beds were almost too narrow for either Jayne or Ben, so the only choices had been to cuddle close, sprawl atop one another, or sleep separately.

The last option was no option at all.

She’d only gotten Ben back a few days prior, and most of that time had been spent with one or both of them unconscious and/or strapped down in _Serenity’s_ med-bay.

“He won’t wake.”

She startled at the soft words.

River.

Of course.

“Deep enough now, and exhausted, you can get up,” the other woman whispered into the darkness. There was a rustling sound, and a rumbled protest from Jayne as River took her own advice and slipped from their bed.

Rey hesitated only a moment before gently extricating herself from the tangle of Ben’s limbs. By the time she was freed River was headed back out of the private bathroom attached to the room they’d been given. She wondered briefly who had lost their room in order to keep the scary psychic assassins—and Jayne, who had refused to leave River’s side—together and under guard.

Despite the general’s insistence that there was no need, the grumbling and dissent among her people had won out, and they ended up under guard but NOT behind bars, even after Jayne had irritably pointed out that it didn’t matter anyway, because if any of the three had wanted to rain destruction on the base no one could stop them.

Then he’d tossed River over his shoulder, demanded that Poe Dameron lead the way, and a giggling River had shrieked something about being tickled and then merrily announced to anyone close enough to hear that she _could_ kill them all with her brain but she was too busy at the moment.

It had actually taken the focus off of Ben, interestingly enough, and when he’d reached for Rey’s hand and smiled at her—a real smile—she’d returned it and let him lead her along behind the Reader and the mercenary.

They’d been guided into a room that seemed hastily stripped of personal belongings save for one sadly drooping potted plant and a blurry capture of someone’s left boot. One of the guards had returned with a stack of worn sheets and scratchy blankets and practically run back out of the room at the twin glares from Jayne and Ben, both of whom took exception to the quality of linens provided, as well as the fact that they hadn’t been allowed their personal clothing and toiletries (not that any of them really had much, although Jayne had loaned Ben some clothes and Rey had a few things River and Kaylee had been able to spare).

After scaring the guard away, Ben and Jayne had shared a long look, each given a short nod, and then both immediately set about claiming the lower bunks in opposite corners of the room. Ben had set himself and Rey up opposite the door—farthest away but with the most direct line of sight. Jayne put himself and River in the corner behind the door. Strategically it gave Jayne and River the advantage of better cover and the possibility of surprise, but it was also a show of trust, letting Ben be the one with the direct line of sight and unobstructed access to the only entry or exit from the room (aside from the bathroom which had no outlet).

If she hadn’t known better, River would have been convinced the two had been Reading one another, but it was much simpler—two dangerous individuals agreeing to divide the space and look out for one another in a silent conversation. She doubted Ben had even needed to use any of his abilities, and had Mal or Zoe been present, they would have been equal partners in the wordless planning.

River knew she and Rey could have been a part of it, but she trusted everyone in the room—except, perhaps, herself, and Rey was too tired and frustrated to want any part of strategizing.

Despite Rey and Ben’s assurances that they wouldn’t let her hurt anyone, River couldn’t shake the absolute certainty that something ominous was hurtling their way— _her_ way—and planning to use her against everyone she loved.

Unable to sleep even after several hours, Rey found herself perched on a chair River had carried into the brightly lit bathroom. River stood behind her, nimble fingers creating an intricate braid. Neither had been able to go back to sleep, and when River started picking up on the guards’ thoughts, she’d gotten antsy. Rey had been able to mostly ignore the growing anxiety coming from the guards, but she couldn’t block River’s roiling emotions as easily.

They needed a distraction, and usually it would have been a sparring session but they couldn’t exactly do that in the small room they had been given anyway, and with Ben and Jayne both still deep in much-needed sleep it definitely wasn’t an option. River could have used the same trick Ben had used on both women in the Academy years and kept them under, but she didn’t like doing it and, as she admitted softly, she didn’t have the skill or finesse Ben did. His control was better, probably related to the fact that his strongest talents fell under telekinesis.

Rey glared at her own reflection. At least River and Ben had useful abilities. Reading was certainly helpful, moving things and even starting fires was always handy in a fight, but Rey’s primary ability was empathy, and it wasn’t even strong enough to manipulate the emotions of others. Oh no, it was passive. She felt the emotions of others, but she couldn’t actually _do_ anything about it.

River pushed at the back of her head and clicked her tongue. “So learn to do something about it.”

“What?”

“Practice. Experiment. We all had latent talents to begin with, and the brief time we were all linked you and I both shared Ben’s strongest gifts.”

“Not his control though,” Rey said with a snort and River laughed.

“Certainly not,” she muttered, tying off the braid. Rey turned and studied herself in the mirror, twisting and bending at awkward angles to try and see the back of her head. “Can I try something?” River asked, holding out a hand. Rey nodded, placing her palm against River’s. River took a deep breath and closed her eyes and suddenly it was like Rey could _see_ through River’s eyes. It only lasted a moment and then River stumbled back with a gasp.

Rey instinctively threw a hand out to steady her. It worked a little too well, River freezing in an uncomfortable looking backwards half-crouch.

“I…can’t move,” River said, both of them going wide-eyed.

“Sorry, I’ll just…” Rey trailed off as she realized she didn’t know how to release the hold. “I think I need to wake Ben.”

River just stared at her for a moment before nodding once.

Waking Ben woke Jayne, and the two men crowded barefoot and bare-chested into the suddenly too-small bathroom. Glancing between them, Rey realized with a start that Jayne was actually just a bit taller than Ben, though Ben was broader. She looked back at Ben, distracted at the sight of him, shirtless and sleep tousled and—

“Is now really the time?” River grumbled. “This isn’t exactly comfortable.”

Rey jerked and felt the heat rising in her face. “Sorry.”

Jayne laughed but withheld his own commentary as he moved closer to River, sitting on the floor under where her back and hips hovered. “I’ll catch you, Babydoll, soon as they can figure out how to let you finish falling.”

“Thank you, my Jayne,” River said with a sniff and turned her head away from Rey, as that was the only part of her body she still had control over. It was almost childish and suddenly Rey was reminded just how young the other woman was—how very young she had been when Snoke took her into the program and began cutting into her brain.

“Even as a child I was never a child,” River whispered, still staring at the wall. “One of the things we all have in common.”

Rey felt the flood of sadness and anger, and she wasn’t even sure which of them was feeling it. Probably all four of them, really. Then Ben put his hands on her shoulders and stepped into her space until her back was against his chest. She felt him press his lips to her hair and instantly relaxed just a fraction. “You need to relax and focus,” he said softly, large hands sliding down her arms, stopping at her elbows before moving back up. “Close your eyes,” he said, “focus on your breathing.” He kept up the motion of his hands, rubbing her arms, and she didn’t even realize she was breathing in time with the rise and fall of his chest against her. “Find River. Can you feel her?”

She opened her mouth to say no, but then suddenly she _did_.

“Good girl,” he murmured, hands sliding past her elbows and down until his fingers encircled her wrists. “Find where your energy is touching hers.” Sweat beaded on Rey’s forehead and her breathing increased with the effort to trace out where she was holding River suspended. Ben’s lips brushed against her ear. “Don’t try so hard to force it. You’re still holding on, just let go and let it take you. I promise I’ll bring you back.” She nodded and took another deep breath, relaxing against him.

Still no good, and River was trying to hold it back but the cramping in her muscles was causing fine tremors and she whimpered in pain.

“Ben, please, you have to help me! It’s hurting her and I can’t stop!”

“Sh, it’s okay,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around her and nearly lifting her off her feet in the process. “Close your eyes again, and let me in.”

She gasped, seized by panic.

They’d done it once, in training, and it had been the worst pain and violation she’d ever experienced, from any side.

“I won’t hurt you, I swear. I would never _willingly_ hurt you, Rey. But you have to let me in and not fight it.”

“It’s okay,” River said, voice cracking. “You don’t have to. I’ve survived worse, you know that. You’ll figure it out.”

It was that simple, like the flipping of a switch, her decision was made. “Do it,” she said, “Even if it does hurt, you have to do it, Ben. Make me let her go.”

He spun her in his arms, mouth crashing over hers and fingers tangling in her hair, making a mess of all River’s efforts with the braid. Gasping for breath he rested his forehead against hers and…it was effortless. Suddenly they were one, one being, one soul. His presence in her mind was like the gentlest caress, a warm summer breeze on a lazy afternoon somewhere peaceful and green. She shivered with it, every nerve ending coming alive as he coaxed abilities to life in her that she’d never known she had. It was like he guided her along with the touch of a hand, leading her to where her energy melded with River’s, holding her immobile, and with something like a gentle tap it released, gently coiling home to rest.

Vaguely, she heard the twin exhalations of breath as River landed on Jayne, followed by the rustle of clothes and creak of joints as he managed to stand and then pick River up, carrying her out of the room with a promise of ‘workin’ out all them knots,’ for her, and then Rey felt a flare of _something_ from Ben and the door slammed shut. The sound still echoed in the small, tiled room as he hauled her into his arms and took a handful of steps forward, pressing her against the wall in the shower because it was the closest vertical surface. Her legs had automatically locked around him and when he kissed her again it was like she could feel _everything_ , not just the sensations in her own mind and body but his as well and, dimly enough she could mostly ignore it, similar sensations from River and Jayne.

Ben made quick work of both their clothes and then the desperation of a quick, hard thrust had them joined in body as well as mind. It had been…far too long, and Rey hissed and accidentally bit his tongue at the burn but when he tried to pull away from her, pull _out_ of her, she dug her nails into his skin. “Don’t you dare, Ben Solo,” she hissed, more feral growl than spoken sentiment.

He took her not just at her word, but at the joy rebounding along the connection between them, wide-open and unfettered for perhaps the first time ever. At the moment, they had no secrets—it wasn’t possible—but they also paid no mind to any details other than the press of skin, the breathy moans and sighs that may have been from either of them or from both, and the utter contentment between them.

Balance.

_It hurts. Why does it hurt? It’s not supposed to hurt._

_Snoke is a liar, of course he is. Kylo knows this, and yet he believed the doctor that it would be harmless, painless, just a further bonding of the two of them._

_Because he wanted it to be true. Still wants it to be._

_Kira—REY—screams again and he tries to let her go but he can’t and he can’t take her pain, too overwhelmed in his own._

_He senses Kendra behind him, knows she has the heavy staff, and it’s good. She’ll stop him, save REY from him._

_The last thing he hears is another scream from Rey—KIRA, he has to think of her as Kira, and Kendra’s whispered, “The thorns were thick but you scaled the walls, she has to let down her hair,” before it feels like his head implodes and then there is only darkness and silence._

It was River who noticed first. “The guards are gone,” she said softly, curled against Jayne in the narrow bunk. She tilted her head and wrinkled her nose. “I think everyone is…oh!”

“What is it, Babydoll?” Jayne rumbled.

She turned a look on him that he knew very well. “I think Rey’s projecting. Most of the base is a bit…preoccupied at the moment.”

She leaned forward and nuzzled his throat, letting her hands wander. “Oh now, that is just plumb naughty,” he said. “Thought you was all sore from the hangin’ in midair thing.”

“My Jayne has magic hands,” she said, lips brushing over his skin. “Worked out all my knots, and now I’d like to stretch some underused muscles.”

“In that case, you know I’m always happy to be helpful-like.”

He rolled over her and River shrieked and then they, too, stopped using words in favor of a much older language for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, according to the internet, Adam Baldwin (Jayne) is an inch taller than Adam Driver and Summer Glau (River) is an inch shorter than Daisy. Yes I looked it up specifically for this story, just to see if I could justify having someone suddenly realize Jayne is taller.

**Author's Note:**

> The Violence, Beauty, and Grace playlist can be found [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1lzjrok3gYxeHU2sdAyxg5?si=I2y6vJj2QNOoITG8RrjxTQ).


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